Missing out

[Brinks9]

I'm craving the traveling and basic outtings others my age are doing. I can go out for errands, however the idea of being "stuck" at a restaurant or a bar with my boyfriend or friends is terrifying. My boyfriend has been wanting to take me out on a date night but he knows that I'm terrified of eating in public so he is waiting for me to be ready. We are even missing his sister's dance recital this weekend because I can't bear the thought of being in a car for two hours and sitting another couple of hours for the recital and a couple more back home/ "my safe place." I feel so guilty for making him miss something that's important to his sister. I feel guilty knowing that I still can't stand the thought of eating in public and I'm preventing us from having new experiences and making new memories. Though I'm not in the holiday spirit this year there are events I would like to attend to try to go to with my boyfriend for the sake of the experience but the crowds and fear of having a panic attack gives me so much anxiety. My guilt and disappointment in myself continues to grow as I feel that I am missing out on experiences with my boyfriend and feel that I am holding him back from having experiences of his own. My frustration with myself continues to grow as I know that I am wasting away my youth because my anxiety causes me to constantly fear ruining any experience that is supposed to be fun.

[hypercat54]

This must be very difficult for you and I hope you find some answers. Meantime maybe you can go out but not eat? You could eat before you go. Not perfect but it might mean you haven't got to miss all nights out. x

[Brinks9 in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you for your suggestion