Hey guys, just coming in to give you an update.
Am I okay? Not really. I'm dealing with a lot of self doubt and issues with my family. it's not easy starting the day being called names and having abusive comments thrown at you, but one learns to deal with it. I'm trying so hard to seem normal, to make the comeback I want so badly, but I'm really having a hard time. I'm reaching out to a lot of therapists, working on so many things and putting in a huge effort- the next couple weeks are just going to be difficult until I make more progress. I just want to feel like I'm in a situation where I matter. At home specifically, I feel like a guest, not part of the family. Except that I get called things no young person should be called, especially if they are unwarranted. Yes, I'm self harming. And BELIEVE ME I know it's not good, and all the people who know about it, I love you so much and I know exactly where your concern comes from. I hate doing it, but it feels like a compulsion now. I'm setting a goal to be clean from it by the end of this week, and I will go to drastic measures to make a recovery. I'm not going to let this take over my life anymore- I've been through far too much to give up and stop now. I actually care about myself now, more than I did a few weeks ago, and I'm willing to really work. I just need some stability within my friends and family, maybe a few extra hugs while I work this out and I can promise I'm not letting this win.
Thanks for reading through my update- Love to you all <3