😥My Awkward Thanksgiving😥

I guess I'm thankful for my family. But are they thankful for me?

One thing that is really upsetting is that last time i really talked to my brother was when i thought about harming myself. We texted. I typed words and things i wish i never told him. Here we are at thanksgiving and not one, "how have you been?", "are you doing ok?", "are you getting any better?", "how was your doctor appointment we last talked about?"

Nothing. And believe me, i was sooooo expecting it. Same stuff with my parents especially my mom.

Sometimes it hard to call family, "family". I am grateful for my parents but really now, what are they thankful for? I am nothing. Just a useless daughter. I bring embarrassment to myself.

I'm sorry but i had to vent. I wish i had friends. I only have and belong to myself, which isn't much at all, because of the fact that i simply hate myself. Yes, hate.

Y'all try to stay positive if ya can and happy thanksgiving. I will eat with my emotions and get fat😒😟😢

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Vonnah, Blood relationships are not always what they should be, but know that you have a family on the forum who really care about you and how you are doing. In saying that, I want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving from one family member to another. I care xx

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Awww❤ thank you! Happy thanksgiving to you as well. I spent this afternoon writing in my journal which i'm thankful for! I'm thankful for a great friend and support system like you! I appreciate it!😄

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:) xx

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I meant to ask: Were you able to have your medical appointments? I hope so, and keep on truckin' with your writing. I wrote a little more as well .

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Yes, i had my appointment on monday with my primary went well and my appointment with my new therapist went even better!😁 so yeah i am looking forward to counseling. And yes, right now i feel like writing is a good thing for me as of right now😉

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Vonnah, I hope you are doing better. I have come to realize how different women and men are. You are very very brave to express your feelings to your brother. I think men are very uncomfortable with vulnerability and they do not know how to respond. I think if you feel comfortable talking to your brother again it would be fair to confront him a bit about his apparent lack of concern at your Thanksgiving get together. If you can approach him with kindness and not accusation, I would hope that you get a positive and maybe compassionate response. I know it is so easy for us to feel let down by our families. In my heart I truly believe that it is not their intent. Hope this makes sense. My wish for you is to continue to try to cultivate a close relationship with your brother and that he responds in kind.

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Thank you this means a lot to me. I made up my mind and i will not tell any of them anything anymore. I only got myself. The doctor and therapy appointments were and will be done on my own. It's nothing new. I went through bullying on my own so i pretty much always been barely taking care of myself since 12. If i do recover, this crap was done all on my own and maybe that's the hard way but the best way.

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Hello, I know its hard to love and accept your self sometimes especially when we have this anxiety and depression going on.

But you have to know that you are a beautiful and unique person inside and out and you deserve as much love and respect as anyone else.

We have to believe that as hard as it may be at times.

I know how lonely it can feel sometimes especially when we feel like we don't really fit in.

You are someone very special so please believe that and take care of yourself.

Maybe family isn't always able to give us the support we need for whatever reason or maybe they just don't understand what your feeling and don't actually know how to be there for you. It sounds like your brother cares about you and wants the best for you right? Maybe he thought bringing it up today would be uncomfortable for you. I know in my family we don't talk about feelings very much but we love each other.

You deserve to be happy and to be loved and that is something you must believe.

There is a guy on youtube named Jack Canfield and he has a lot of videos about overcoming anxiety , depression and also how to build your self esteem. listening to him has really helped me a lot. You might think about checking out some of his stuff.

We are all here for you and wish you the very best. You deserve it!!

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Thank you. This was very inspiring. It made me smile. I try to think i deserve love and respect.....but i don't feel it. I really don't. My parents don't respect me at all. Hundreds of times i tell them not to, but they barge in my room without knocking and continue to do so. My mom is the main one. I don't have any privacy. And typing this I'm getting very emotional.

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As a mom I can’t imagine a parent not loving their child. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain and not being able to help! I’m not sure what they may be going through either. It’s quite possible they did not want to bring up negativity at the table and may not have wanted to upset you when in fact they did. I’m not trying to defend them. I don’t know them. I know me and what a disappointment I am to my family. My son I feel is embarrassed by me. You were invited to dinner. They obviously care. Your brother is a boy. It’s what they do! Maybe they just assumed you feel better. Learning to love ourselves is so hard! I still can’t after 46 years trying. Try listing one good thing a day. About your self, your family and just the world in general. However big or small. I’ll start you off! You have a very caring heart! Obviously or you wouldn’t be here. I have no friends either. I have joined groups on meetup.com to find like minded groups of people to go out and have fun. I moved though and I’m out in the middle of nowhere and it’s too far to drive especially at night. You can find any possible interest or idea and there is a group. From shooting guns, to singles, to music lovers to just woman with very curly hair. You name it. I obviously am not good at making friends. I got a job one night a week at a gas station deli so I would have a reason to go out. We have regular customers that are so nice. A kind gesture goes a very long way and who couldn’t use a few extra bucks. In my case it’s a very few but that’s not really why I do it. I hope you can find a way to love yourself for who you are because it’s impossible to be anything else. You have friends here!

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This made me emotional!!! Thank you for helping me try to look past all this pain in my heart. I will try that website and see how it goes....😜 lord knows i need better friends than i did before!!!😭 and what you said at the beginning of your reply is so true. I would never treat my children like that. I would do any and everything to make sure they are in good health mentally and physically. I try to be a good person but i doubt it's good enough! But thanks for the sweet compliments😘❤

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Honey if you were doing your very best taking into consideration the limitations that you have due to your illness than that is all you can do it is physically impossible to do more so cut you slack love is the most important thing that you can give a child and I’m sure that you are very capable of that

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I sure am😌 thanks. I gotta keep reminding myself of my limits but i guess i don't pay attention and i go until i crash.....like technical college. I should make a list of them too.

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You should do whatever helps you the best to cope with your situation I preferred to try to list positives rather than negative because when we write something down it’s sticks with us longer

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True. I will do that!😘💜

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Awesome. Don’t forget about my sister. Her face and even her back was covered in bad acne and she got all the boys chasing her! Everyone goes through it in one form or another. It will improve! You got this pretty girl! Stand tall because confidence is a beautiful trait!💖

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Thanks❤☺

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Hello, I have to agree with all the people who have written to you. Do try to remember Thanksgiving is actually a hectic time, all the cooking, preparing and trying to make things "Just right". People get wound up and stressed, so they were not ignoring YOU, you were part of the picture. I used to hate myself, thru therapy I learnt to love myself, ask your therapist to help you with that. As far as hurting yourself, call Suicide Line, they have trained people who will talk with you and give you assistance. Try not to feel sorry for yourself, which is easy to do when we are down. Turn to us we will do our best to help you, you are not along, we love you as the special lovable person you are. Sending you my Love & Hugs., Peace. Sprinkle 1.

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Thank you. I appreciate the positive message😌 i just wish.....i was normal.

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Amen! So very true! This site has given me so much more hope! NEVER make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. Did you get your hair done? Please feel free to message me anytime! I’m here for you sweet girl! Momma Shawny ❤️

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Yeah but its ugly and frizzy now! Still don't change how i see my face.......

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Is it possible your family felt this was not the proper time to bring up any issues you might have ? A day of celebration could easily be ruined by such a discussion. I would in fact resent my problems being dragged out at a family dinner. Pam

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I agree. But it is as if they were all blind.

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If they were blind then they weren’t judging you! I often try to make myself invisible so people won’t see me! To me that’s a good thing! If you are worried talk to your mom about your feelings of being unwanted! That would kill me if I ever made my son feel that way! He is 23 and I tell him everyday how much I love him! Don’t assume!

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Yeah.....😔

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Vonnah

You have my sympathy and the best of luck in your pursuit of happiness, after such an awful encounter.

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I appreciate it, thank you. Happiness and content is all i ever wanted. I'm still searching on this lonely road.

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