Anxiety and Depression Support

Feelings💦

Man i'm sitting across my bed thinking about how I'm still here. I'm not gonna hold it back anymore. I will finally admit to myself, overall my 19 years, I've had a rough life. I stare at the old medication bottles that are filled with pills that i'm not on anymore and man i can't believe my life. Just thinking about songs that are depressing and might play some so i can feel the pain. I am tired. Mental illness is not joke. I wish family would care. But nah....

I'm just gonna say right now i feel like not eating. I haven't eaten all day so far. I just want my journey to come to an end.

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I ate at like 7 something but i feel so sick after eating😷 I feel like I'm gonna throw up😟

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At the age of nineteen, your journey has only just begun let alone reaching its end however you may wish that to be. You are right, mental illness is no joke and it is often the case that your family will seem not to understand what you are going through at the moment. Mine was the same initially until my Mother paid for me to see a psychiatrist privately and he told her that he would treat me but on the NHS because 'it may take years' for me to become well. And it did. Even now I am seen by the local mental health team and their help is invaluable as was the care and support I was given at University. Kind people do exist you know and you will find all manner of assistance on this forum. I wish you well, my friend.

John

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Thank you. I'm trying the best i can.

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It's my pleasure and yes I can understand that you are trying your best. Sometimes 'invisible illnesses' such as mental health-related ones are dismissed by people, particularly younger people, as time wasters, malingerers. As I said, I wish all the luck in the world, my friend.

John

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You have a great way with words and you definitely uplifted me with them. Thank you, i will try to raise awareness to mental health for the rest of my life. I'm extremely passionate about the topic that most people rather dismiss and i refuse to let the stigma win. 💚

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Thank you for your kind words. Your life is more important than to erase it simply because the others in your life, friends, family, school friends, cannot see inside your mind. It's only by persuading people to become more pro-active by people such as yourself that even a very basic knowledge of mental health issues can be talked about and understood. A question I always put to people is "why is it that alongside medications, why do you think that activities such as CBT, Mindfulness and the whole list of such things are called talking therapies?" I, too, am passionate about this as you can imagine and if I have managed to persuade only one person, yourself, to become positive both in attitude and direction forwards then I shall pat myself on the head. I really do wish you well, my friend.

John

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Thank you. Same to you.

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I started taking antidepressants at around 18, and at 31, I’m still taking them. And I’m not trying to discourage you, quite the opposite. I have not been on medication for 13 straight years.

I went off my meds because my symptoms were gone, after about a year or so. I got married at 19, I was happy, I started having kids, I was happy and great. Symptoms reoccurred about 5 years later, and I got back on meds. Was better again after a year or two, and then symptoms reoccurred. Back on meds. Depression tends to run on a cycle, for whatever reason. And I know I will feel better again.

Depression can go away forever, and I hope it does for you. But it’s often a reoccurring condition. A lot of conditions have flare ups, and remissions. This isn’t abnormal. You just have to do your best to keep up with your treatment, tell your providers everything, keep the Suicide hotline number in your contacts, and you will be safe. You may not always be happy, but you will be safe and you can know you are not alone. I wish there was a crisis text service where you could text when you were feeling in crisis mode, I always find texting to be easier than talking. Someone assigned to you to text you throughout the day, asking how you’re feeling, basically a friend who has mental health education.

I feel so alone sometimes too. Even other people in my family who have mental illness, I don’t feel like they *truly* understand, because how could they, unless they could climb into your head? One family member suggested after confiding in her some of how I was feeling and acting said I was obviously “not sane”. And I needed to drive somewhere to a bigger town to get mental help. Like what??

I have had to send multiple people links to “what not to say to a depressed person”, because they just don’t understand and don’t care to look more into it, and they say things that they don’t even realize are hurtful.

If we had cancer, or diabetes, they’d be looking up ways to help, or to not make us worse, but with mental illness it’s just not the same. And it shouldn’t be our responsibility to educate people, but somehow it is. And they need to know. That’s why I chose to try to educate them, but if you don’t think you should, then it’s totally your choice.

Just know that even though no one may know exactly how you feel, we’ve all been in some very dark places that we’ve had to dig out of, sometimes alone. And misunderstood. But you have strength inside that you may not be aware of, I know I wasn’t. And I hope that you can call on it in your darkest times, and if you’re ever need anyone to vent to, I am always here. All of us are here, to listen, and to confide in when you can’t confide in anyone else.

Try and keep your head up, and if anything call the crisis hotline, they even have a messaging service where you can message them via website. If you can’t find it, let me know, and I’ll look it up for you.

Wishing you the best in this journey, it may not always be easy, but it’s worth it ❤️

*edit - as far as not eating, I feel you. I’ve lost about 30 pds since March, I guess it helps I had a little extra weight to begin with. But it’s not healthy, and sometimes I have to force myself to eat, even if it’s just some crackers or a piece of bread with peanut butter. Anything to get you through until you can get an appetite back will help.

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Pinkplasticball very well said...i cant think of anything to add to help...but im currently going through a bad bout of depression, havent been through one for 17 years...had ups and downs but not weeks and months of straight depression...it is super hard to educate people...like you said...wish they could crawl into my head. I also am having a hard time eating...cant cook or do anything...lost weight that i cant afford to give up any more pounds....sigh...the hardest part is not knowing when this bout will end...thanks for your post it helped me to.

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This just made my day☺ thank you so much. I understood every word. I used to use the crisis text line but i have boost mobile and i don't think it's free😞 i used it before a few years ago and it didn't seem to cost money but i did it again a while ago and my phone had a message saying it could charge my account. Yeah i wish there was more mental health awareness💚

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You can always message.

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Thanks😊

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No problem.

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