Anxiety and Depression Support

Usual Depression...😡 (Edit by me😡)

My mom continues to judge and say things like "can you do the dishes?" "you lay in bed all day for several days" "you don't do anything" "you are so lazy" etc.

I tell her how those words hurt. Wish i could get help/be in a hospital. I hate how nobody cares about my life. My brothers judge me too and aren't there for me. I am truly all alone. They don't see my severe depression. They just see a girl who is the laziest girl they have ever seen and is nasty, dirty, werid, strange, ugly, annoying, bad, good for nothing person. People don't understand depression. And it bothers me. I just took a shower last night and nobody freaking knows how hard that was just getting up and doing it. I am truly better off where my family don't have to worry about seeing how embarrassing my life is.....😔

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Vonnah,

Help me out here. Are you taking a medication for your depression? If so, please contact your doctor and take or send a copy of your post. If you are not seeking help from a professional, perhaps it's time to do so. I am thinking you are not really wanting to die, you want your life to be different.

What things do you think you can do to change somethings? Aren't you still working? If not, and you are now staying in bed, it is time, I think, to have professional help.

I know what is like to stay in bed all day and not want to get out of bed. I knew it was time to get some help.

I remember not wanting to bother with a shower, and how hard it was for me to take one, thinking what's the use. I knew it was time to get help.

Please respond to me as soon as you are up to it. There will be other replies I am certain, but I will be traveling very soon and will need to close my laptop. Really want to hear from you.

We do not want to lose another bright promising young woman. The world needs women like you who are sensitive and know how hard it is to fight depression.

You are very special, and there is something you will do in the future that will make a difference for others. We just need you to get through this, and come out the other end of your dark tunnel and see the sunshine and moonlight and nurture your inner strength.

You are meant to do something important for people. You are important, but believe you need to have a good physical to see if there is something physical causing your depression. And to see a doctor who can help you break the "dark cloud" of depression, maybe with medication, maybe without.

It is important for you to understand, although difficult for you right now, that you are important. There is a reason you were given the body and mind that you have. We just need to find what is to be done to pull you up and out of that dark cloud. Depression drains a lot of your energy. Keep writing.

And I love you and the mother in me wishes that I could reach through the screen and hug you and assure that life you have now, is not the life you can and will have.xx

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Thank you for caring. I really do wish i could not exist. I'm not a violent person but i just don't feel like i belong. ANYWHERE. It's one thing dealing with severe depression but having my family say hurtful things to me is even a more hard hitting blow to me. And having no true support in my struggle. So yeah a lot of times i just wish i wasn't here. No friends. No support. No help. No liscense. No boyfriend. I hate my ugly acne and hairy face(from pcos). Oh and my mom is ashamed of me i can see it when she calls me lazy and say i don't do anything. I can hear the irritation in her voice. She sick of me and i am a disappointment of a daughter.

Not enough mental health awareness in this cruel world💚

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I would like to give you a hug also. Remember, I will bet your mom loves you, but she wants you to get better also. I hope you will seek some medical help and maybe let them know what is happening with you in general and the PCOS. You are an intelligent young woman and have your whole life ahead of you, and you are not alone- you are just feeling this way. I hope also you can contact a crisis line if needed as well and maybe contact NAMI and see about a support group. I know you have no license- but see what they say about that. NAMI also has a website. Imagine you as you get through your own issues helping to spread awareness about mental health. I try to do that too. This fall we participated in a NAMI walk /fundraiser.

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I stopped my zoloft i know it's not good but it didn't help and made me sick. I feel guilty for stopping and i should. I know what it does to us. But I'm feeling the EXACT same way i felt while on those meds. No change in my severe depression or anxiety.

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Vonnah, There is nothing I can add to "HearYou" response. There is a lot of good positive information in that response. It is worthy of reading it over several times until it sinks into your negative thoughts. Remember the people on the forum truly understand what you are going through. No one possibly could unless they themselves have walked in your shoes. HearYou has and is.

I know how difficult it is when family members are the ones putting you down. But it is not worth putting yourself down because of it. You are an incredibly strong person. Keep telling yourself that. That all the positive words that HearYou wrote and write them down and know that you are all that and more. We support you in going forward. :) xx

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Yeah but I'm running in place. Life has no plans for me. I understand but I'm just feeling down today from how i'm treated in person. Nobody cares about me.

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I totally understand where you are coming from! Been there, doing it. Try to think of some things that make you happy, whatever that might be~ music, food , sunset whatever, it doesn't take all away for you but will help, I know because I know cuzz I've been doing it for a few days. When those dark thoughts come in turn to some happy thoughts or at least try. I pray this helps you! Lisa

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Thanks😘 today i woke up at 2:50 or something like that and i'm gonna try to keep myself busy and not lay in bed. I woke up with a surprisingly burst of energy. So I'm gonna try to detangle my hair and comb it and try to clean my room a little bit. 😆

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I care if that helps. When it comes down to it- we need to stick together and help each other to help ourselves. I tell myself every day.! You have nothing to feel guilty about. How is that online group for PCOS? You never know- maybe you could start one!

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They don't use it much on that group.

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Are you working???? That would help with one thing that would make you feel better about yourself.

You don't like how your face looks with pox marks and hair. OK, the hair can be waxed off....from eyebrows, to upper lip, chin and sides of your face. In the US, Asian ped-many shops are even in the Walmart stores, or have their own shops for a very inexpensive cost that will last w-6 weeks, if you tweeze out a few that pop out in between.

A woman likes to feel she is pretty, and I just had my eyebrows shaped and waxed, as well as my upper lip. You can also get inexpensive manicures or pedicures there.

If your hair issue is really bad, save your money to have laser treatments that will eliminate that permanently. I did that with those darn, heavy duty hair on my chin a few years ago. Had to save up for quite awhile, but was worth the expense and glad I did that for myself about 15 years ago. But won't work on white hair...so needs to be done long before they turn white.

So, how about checking on the waxing for now. Let us know if you are working so I don't suggest other things that you have no money for right now.XXX

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I still am not working. Going to apply for jobs tomorrow. Money is running low but I'm fine its whatever i guess. I didn't feel good about myself when i was working so how can i feel that way when i get a new job? Nothing helps i promise you that. I'm hopeless. Waste of time and space!!!!!😟

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Stop telling yourself that, please. Hear you gives great advice and has wonderful posts as well. I know you can't see or hear us- so that is different- but we are here. Good for you- applying for a new job. That takes a lot of energy. How about enrolling in a course- maybe through a one stop career center? At any rate, I am sure the medical is a huge priority. Who knows - maybe in time you could start a new group for sufferers of PCOS.

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Yeah thanks.

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You're dealing with a lot hon, so it's hardly surprising you're feeling the way you are.

That said, you're the only one who can make a change, so please, give the meds another chance, let them start working to lift your moods.

This will take some time, so please be patient, in the mean time good luck with the jobs.

Many say it's little steps, takes us time to get bad, thus likely to take similar time to get well again.

Impatience is our enemy, believe me, I'm in the depths of despair too.

Feeling hopeless, worthless etc is so hard.

Good luck

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Thank you that was very encouraging🌸😌

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I will try my best like always!😉

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Ok, Vannah. You're singing the blues now. That's ok, need to do that sometimes. You say no one cares about you? Are you kidding? Just look how many people took the time and effort to talk with you now? Please stop finding excuses for not doing things that may help you. Contact your doctor for a med check and see if there are other meds that may help. Get employment even if you are feeling the same right now. Employment keeps helps make you feel productive and a reason to get u in the morning It provides cash to help in various parts of your life...contributing to the household expenses, maybe getting that facial hair wax, getting a place of your own! And life does not make plans for us....life continues to happen while WE make our plans for it. One day at a time, one foot in front of another is how you can start to change things.

Please save all the replies you received. Print them out if you can and pin them to your bathroom wall where you can read them everytime you "sit" down there. Make a copy for your doctor to read so he/she gets a quick view of what's happening with you at the moment.

And stay in touch with us. xx

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Yeah, thanks. It's just so hard. I'm trying my best. I have a surprisingly amount of energy after waking up today so I'm gonna try to clean my room and do my hair or something. Hopefully watch a movie later and watch basketball on tv. Thanks. I'm gonna push myself and i will go to the doctor.

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Hope that you can get more help for your PCOS. I know you have something very specific.

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Have your doctor prescribe something else. One med does not fit all. And I do understand about family not "getting it" and not being supportive because they don't "get it". They do not have a clue as to how you are really feeling inside. I think it not so much that they don't care, I think they have an inability to understand what you are going through. It's really hard for family to be understanding and "with you" because they have never experienced the lows that come with depression. A few of my Mom's replies to me have been "just get your head out of the sand" and "you'll never feel better if you just sit around doing nothing". It honestly took me a few years to realize that she has no clue and cannot relate at ALL to the emotional toll that depression takes. They just don't get it, because they've never felt it. I have both MDD and GAD at the same time. So 25 years later when my Mom calls and says she's had a bad day and had to take a Valium....What do you think my reply was? I did not really feel sorry for her, I just said, well if it helps, I wouldn't worry about having to take one tranquilizer in 5 years. After years of MDD and GAD and the things she's said to me, I just had no emotional sympathy for her one day of anxiousness. People can sympathize with you on this forum, but they cannot cure you. You need to see your doctor if you are feeling totally hopeless and wishing your life would end. Then, or at the same time, get yourself to a therapist that deals with feelings of hopelessness. I almost wish that day when my Mom called, I would have said, try feeling that way for the last 25 years, every day, every hour, every minute. But, I didn't. Because I just remembered, they simply cannot relate.

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Yeah i understand. Thanks for the advice.

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Vonnah, when you start taking steps to move forward with your life, your mom will have less to jump all over you about and you will feel better about yourself even if she does/

Some of the suggestions that have been made are finding a case manager or counselor who can work with you on your hygeine, seeking out a job training program, getting help from your county job services program with your resume and job search, seeing a doctor for getting the right meds, etc.

You are smart and know what you need to do. The more you organize your life and tackle each difficulty, one step at a time, the better I think you will feel. Can you make a list of what the #1 thing is you need to do today? Just one thing? How about tomorrow? What's the #1 things you need to do tomorrow?

We are all here for you and care very much. Now you have to care enough to follow through.

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I do need help in that sense.....I'm so ashamed. How am i gonna get a job if I'm really mentally jacked up? Am i supposed to fake a smile on a interview? Sure because i did it before. But i need to shower today, brush my teeth, i need to eat because i haven't all day and i'm starving, apply for jobs.

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One stop centers might have training even for fake job interviews. What kind of training/career would you like if you have a choice?

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You are not worthless, and repeating it over and over is not going to help anything. What it you tried telling yourself, That yes, this is hard, but I'm going to give it my best to work it out?

You can do this! To me, it sounds like you're most...

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Remember, life still goes on no matter what. Maybe you could try just doing something small like clearing the table. You might even feel better because of a contribution. Depression can double down on people - it's hard to focus on others or what...

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I haven't been on here for a while but who changed the title of my post???????????

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What do you mean use more than words?

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An admin just sent me a message saying they saw the reply where ZacharyM threatened to use his fists on your mom and then his reply threatening me and wanted to let me know that they have permanently banned him from the site.

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Thank you, that kind of behavior shouldn't be tolerated.

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Are you really threatening to beat up her mom?

I thought you were leaving? You made your big drama filled post about leaving and we better not try to stop you. Here it is less than 11 hours later and you are already back trying to get attention and sound like a tough guy.

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That's what it seemed like he intended when he said that....i don't always get along with my mom but i would never want any harm done onto her.

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