I feel like I'm in a deep hole of despair after turning down a job offer for some stupid reasons. Not sure why I didn't see it but maybe fear got in the way along with a sensitivity to making changes.
I can't get the thoughts of me without this job out my head. I cannot even take a cat nap since the thoughts immediately awake me. I cannot do anything I enjoyed in the past. I cannot even watch TV.
I'm trying to find another opportunity but it is hard to find anything close to what I lost. I didn't see it at the time but the new job would have been my dream job. Can someone provide any guidance for me? I've been to a number of doctors and counselors but to little avail.
I hate my current job now... things have gone way sour. Things where not so bad when I made the decision. It is a high paying job with excellent benefits and I don't want to give that up but buy man there are reminders every minute of my bad decision at work.
I spend almost all of my waking life outside of my job (even a little there too) submitting seeming endless resumes and applications but with little response back.
Ending my life would transfer this pain to my family. Don't want that.
What shall I do? I'm praying almost constantly for an answer.