I need support

[LizetteA]

I have depression and anxiety myself but I'm dealing with my 27 year old daughter that is severely depressed and unhappy. I am drained of all my resources. I would like some feedback and I need support from someone who has experienced this situation.

[Singinsammy]

Hi lizette. Im in a similar situation. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for twenty years and both my daughter's (aged 21 and 18) now suffer with it too. I cope ok myself the majority of the time though i do have low anxious periods. It's extremely difficult seeing someone you love suffering. Both of my daughters initially refused to seek help from the gp. I was so worried that I went myself to ask for help but our gp obviously said she could only give treatment if my daughters attended the gp surgery themselves. It was incredibly frustrating being told that there was nothing I could do. As a parent our instinct is to protect. I found it useful to share with them some advice from the internet and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy techniques that i had learned over the years. They were not openly receptive to this at first but I persevered. Both of my girls eventually did seek help from the gp, but while one appears to have improved, the other came off her mediation,and ceased her therapy as she felt it wasn't working. She is still struggling. Im forever asking her to go back to the gp, but she refuses and denies that she needs gp support. I found that I only annoy her by trying to encourage this, so I'm trying to find a balance between offering support and nagging. It's hard to focus when yr anxious and depressed and everything is so draining, so it's especially difficult to deal with someone else's illness when you're in a battle with your own. There's also an element of avoidance, where you dont want to have to think or cope with anything at all, as it's all too much. And then of course, id feel guilty that my daughter is suffering and here I am caught up in my own feelings and struggles. It's very difficult, but I do find it helps to be open and honest. I'm open about my depression and anxiety and we've found that my daughter and I can help support each other. I had a particularly bad period following a heart disease diagnosis and i became very anxious and began spiralling into a nasty depression. My daughter was also struggling with her anxiety at this time and had began to find driving at peak times difficult, and was avoiding it wherever possible. So we had a chat about how we were feeling and decided that we'd support each other. She'd drive to my house at quiet times of the day, then she'd drive us both out somewhere at a peak time. She eventually got her confidence back and it got me out of bed and back into a routine of daily living. This is a complex disease to live with, and it becomes even more so when loved ones suffer the same illness. However it can also be a positive, that you both have a better understanding of how you're both feeling, compared to someone who has never had this. I truly believe that no-one can REALLY understand what it is like to suffer with anxiety and depression unless you have experienced it yrself. We all need support. As sufferers And carers. Im not sure that I can help your situation but I'm sending you lots of well wishes and support. Xx