Is it wrong for me to put myself first? - Anxiety and Depre...

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Is it wrong for me to put myself first?


In a situation where you had to decide between your happiness or someone else’s happiness, what should it be? I honestly do not know because I feel like I should be putting myself first and my happiness is more important but at the same time I can’t feel guilty for doing that, I feel selfish.

7 Replies

This a common issue with depression and anxiety. In general, we do not put ourselves first and we tend to always think of others feelings. However, you really stated a general statement about putting yourself first. It depends on the situation. Is it a child? A spouse? A friend? It depends. Sometimes we give up a little depending on the situation. You always have to come first. If you don't, how can you help someone else?

Unless its your kid its ok

HearYou in reply to Justswimming

Maybe it would be helpful to mention specific examples. There is no "cover all situations" answer to your inquiry. I suppose I like to think that I have few absolute needs and then other times I have preferences that are very adjustable and I don't need to put myself first.

Are there some things happening in your life now where you're unsure whether you should be or not be putting yourself first?

Put yourself first. It's that or neglect yourself which is what i do. Its hard to undo that way of thinking if you live for eithers happiness when they don't even care about you. Its not selfish, its a healthy step forward for your mind, body, and soul.

I agree with HearYou. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes putting yourself first is wise and just practicing good self-care. In other circumstances, it's selfish and irresponsible. If you are someone who's always putting yourself last, that's not healthy.

There are so many possible situations, it's really impossible to answer!

It's absolutely normal to put yourself first ! I know I personally struggled with that for along time. Think of your health and happiness too

I learnt in therapy from a male instructor we women usually put others first and we come at the end. This is not good, it leaves one tired and resentful. For babies and small children yes they come first, but beyond that You are No.1. And guilt is a wasted emotion - kick it out.

There is a saying "You cannot give from an empty bowl", so fill yourself up and keep yourself full and do not let anyone "guilt you". You give what you can when you can. Be good to yourself, do one nice thing a day for You. And know you are loved Sprinkle 1

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