Unwell family member

[James1234567]

Mental illness runs in my family. I'm torn between being understanding of an unwell family member but at the same time this person is doing to much harm for too long and it's just getting too difficult to keep waiting and understanding and forgiving. The damage is just too much.

[Justswimming]

What's there diagnosis?

[James1234567 in reply to Justswimming]

You could say depression. However, she goes to the doctor, gets meds, stops taking them, goes to another, repeat. She has the world fooled that everything is wonderful, then punishes her loved ones. My unprofessional opinion is bipolar, narcissist sociopathic manipulator. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just the best I can describe.

[Hidden in reply to James1234567]

Well it sounds to me like the problem isn't so much the illness but the refusal to take her meds. Is she getting any counselling? Is it a parent you are talking about and do you have to live with her?

I don't know how old you are or your circumstances but it would be best to put physical distance between yourself and this family member if possible. If not you can make it clear that while you want to help and have every sympathy there is not much you can do while she is refusing to help herself.

There comes a point where you can't let even a loved one drag you down beyond a certain level. This sounds selfish but it is just self preservation. If you don't look after yourself too then no one else is. x

[Windy101]

If your family member is abusive, then I urge you to take steps to distance and protect yourself. You do not deserve to be mistreated. It's hard to say more without knowing the ages and living arrangements involved, but my heart goes out to you as I have a family member who's been very destructive, too. You're welcome to message me if you want to talk more about it.

[Struggling777]

Sadly people with mental health problems often stop taking their meds when they don’t see immediate improvement. Is it possible to talk to her gp for advice and perhaps your own gp to keep yourself well whilst offering support. Depression is a horrible illness and can bring out the worst in sufferers. It’s tough for the sufferers and the supporters.

I worked with people with mental health problems trying to live independently and it was so sad that none of them had much family support. They all suffered paranoid schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.