Today has been a really stressful day for me. Actually, the past few days have been pretty stressful for me. I've mentioned in the past that my grandfather, that I live with along with my grandmother, has Alzheimer's and he got sick about a month ago and ended up in the hospital and rehab for a couple weeks. He just came home last week and hadn't been acting right. He's been really weak and needing help getting up, even though he'd just gotten out of rehab and should have been fine. He'd also get really confused at night and not able to get up, it was really scary to deal with and we thought his Alzheimers had gotten terribly bad in those couple weeks. This morning he fell again and we had to call an ambulance to take him to the ER, after being there for 5 hours it was determined that he has pneumonia and possibly C-Diff, a really bad and contagious bacterial infection. It was really scary all day wondering what was wrong, worrying about if they'd keep him or if they'd send him home because they wouldn't find anything. I worried about if they did send him home what would we would do with him because we didn't think we could handle him being so weak. Now finding out that he may have C-Diff there's this part of me that's worried I could get it or my grandmother or someone else in my family. I have so much going on in my mind but I don't know how to talk about it because i'm afraid of coming off as weak to my family. It's a lot of pressure on me and sometimes I feel like my family doesn't understand and just expects me to be okay with everything even when i'm not. I'm trying to stay strong, but I feel like i'm going to break and it sucks. I've also been struggling with taking a Xanax all day. Part of me wants to take one, but the other part of me doesn't want to take it because I don't like to rely on a pill to make me feel better.