I always felt my face is ugly. It's true my acne is the reason i think, feel, and believe i'm extremely ugly and unattractive. I honestly believe this is why i never had a boyfriend and have trouble making friends. Everytime i look in the mirror at my face i get more depressed and feel bad for all the people who have to look at my face. I have bumps on my face here and there but its mainly my dark spots all over my face that kills the crap out of me. I hate it. I hate myself and people say looks don't matter but how could that be true if I'm a girl who never had a boyfriend and the only attention from guys are being starred at and getting called ugly. I HATE being starred at. It causes me to feel extremely self conscious and gives me anxiety that makes me want to hide away from everyone around me. I can't look in the mirror and 'think' i'm pretty. I'm used to being ugly but its draining. I often stay in my room. I also lash out at my parents if they stare at me for too long or if i catch them looking at me i will get defensive and say "stop looking at me", "don't look at me" and i will turn away or walk away. If I'm at the mall or any other crowded place and i notice someone who looks at me or in my direction, i assume they are talking crap about me and percieve me as the ugliest girl they had ever seen. I hate it.
*I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which is a hormonal disorder in women and acne is one of the most visible and common symptoms. So this seems to be the cause from being undiagnosed for so long (i got diagnosed in either April or May; i can't remember) but i hate my face and the older i get i'm starting to consider plastic surgery as my only option.
I tried facial creams before that didn't work that was presribed by my primary doctor, i have proactive and it seems to work on pimples and stuff but what about my dark spots? They seem permanent. The thought of my dark spots being permanent makes me severly depressed and self conscious and most importantly ugly.
Makeup doesn't even work! I tried it and it made me more depressed. A waste of money. I love looking at pictures of women with flawless makeup on! They look perfect. Wish i could have a full face of makeup and look beautiful. I once piled a bunch of liquid foundation on and my dark spots still showed. I tried using power makeup and nothing.
That's why my life ain't worth living.