Anyone With Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

I always felt my face is ugly. It's true my acne is the reason i think, feel, and believe i'm extremely ugly and unattractive. I honestly believe this is why i never had a boyfriend and have trouble making friends. Everytime i look in the mirror at my face i get more depressed and feel bad for all the people who have to look at my face. I have bumps on my face here and there but its mainly my dark spots all over my face that kills the crap out of me. I hate it. I hate myself and people say looks don't matter but how could that be true if I'm a girl who never had a boyfriend and the only attention from guys are being starred at and getting called ugly. I HATE being starred at. It causes me to feel extremely self conscious and gives me anxiety that makes me want to hide away from everyone around me. I can't look in the mirror and 'think' i'm pretty. I'm used to being ugly but its draining. I often stay in my room. I also lash out at my parents if they stare at me for too long or if i catch them looking at me i will get defensive and say "stop looking at me", "don't look at me" and i will turn away or walk away. If I'm at the mall or any other crowded place and i notice someone who looks at me or in my direction, i assume they are talking crap about me and percieve me as the ugliest girl they had ever seen. I hate it.

*I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which is a hormonal disorder in women and acne is one of the most visible and common symptoms. So this seems to be the cause from being undiagnosed for so long (i got diagnosed in either April or May; i can't remember) but i hate my face and the older i get i'm starting to consider plastic surgery as my only option.

I tried facial creams before that didn't work that was presribed by my primary doctor, i have proactive and it seems to work on pimples and stuff but what about my dark spots? They seem permanent. The thought of my dark spots being permanent makes me severly depressed and self conscious and most importantly ugly.

Makeup doesn't even work! I tried it and it made me more depressed. A waste of money. I love looking at pictures of women with flawless makeup on! They look perfect. Wish i could have a full face of makeup and look beautiful. I once piled a bunch of liquid foundation on and my dark spots still showed. I tried using power makeup and nothing.

That's why my life ain't worth living.

26 Replies

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  • Hey babe, please don’t feel that way! I myself have pcos and terrible acne but believe me it’ll clear up..mine has. I’m still left with dark marks on my cheeks and feel ugly and hide away but believe me it just destroys you. There’s plenty treatment you can try..it’s a trial and error process but there is a solution out there. I know exactly how you feel with your self confidence and body image but if you don’t try to overcome it it’ll eat you up. The hormonal imbalance of PCOS really plays with our emotions and heightens then which too is probably why your feeling that way. I’m here to talk if you want x. Keep your head up

  • Thank you, i need to know that i'm not alone! ❤

  • No problem, and your still young too so you have plenty of time! I’m 22 and only now getting effective treatment. What acne things have you tried?

  • Proactive and i tried some other stuff but can't remember the name. One of them dried my face out and caused patches so i stopped that years ago. So just proactive.

  • Have you been to the gp for any prescription medication?

  • No i haven't.

  • What kind of treatment for dark spots? I swear i'd do anything to have a clear face.

  • I use the st Ives facial scrub 3 times a week to help with the dark spots and have been on lymecyline antibiotics for 3 months now and my acne has cleared up. I also use a topical lotion called epiduo on my cheeks

  • Really wow! Sounds effective! Antibiotics can help with acne????? I had no idea! How do i get some? Do i go to a dermatologist or my primary doctor, or endocrinologist??? Where do you purchase the facial scrub and lotion from? Are you in the US?

  • Initially I went to my primary doctor. I am in the uk. The facial scrub you should be able to get in your local drugstore, it’s a well known name

  • Awesome thanks sooooo much!!!!!😘

  • It's sad to read that you feel so insecure about yourself, you need to start helping yourself to love you, no-one will love you if you don't love yourself, & I sure even if people were looking at you it's not becos you're ugly, if you're insecure that probably brings on the anxiety that you're being stared at but you're not. With pcos try a low GI diet, cut out meat & dairy for a few months as meat & dairy are not for pcos, for your acne try either tea tree face wash & stay away from oily based skin care & drink lots of water

  • Thank you....but i know no one will love me...because I'm ugly! Maybe loving myself isn't good enough or the right answer. I will try the diet for sure. I will let the pcos group know when i start that. Where do i find the tea tree face wash??? What kind of meat not to eat? All diary? Like cheese as well?

  • It would be good to give the diet a try😊 also if your going off dairy that means all dairy no cheese/ anything that contains dairy or whey so you can give your body a chance to heal and see dairy does really bother you by trying to eat it again after several weeks. I know it’s awful having acne but your diet really does have a huge effect acne/skin.... do you eat lots of vegetables? Because it would be good to eat a lot of vegetables every day also

  • Wow!!!! Thanks for the info!!!! I drink milk every now and again but i eat a lot of cheese.....and i don't eat fruits or vegetables!!!!!! I drink soda a lot......i only drink water if there's no soda! Dang with pcos, my lifestyle needs to do a complete drastic 360° 😱😱😱😱😱

  • I think you would do better by eating fruits and vegetables, more water and try drinking less soda as sugar is also a huge acne causer..... I know it is hard to change your diet/lifestyle so drastically but in the end it really benefits you and your body in so many ways 😊 personally I would still eat meat as your body needs that type of protein still, but that is up to you 😊

  • Yeah thank you so much for your help! I will try my best. 💜

  • Of course! 😊 and don’t get discouraged if you have a hard time doing everything at once in the Beginning...as you go along it will be easier to do :) if you need to, start gradually until you have changed everything that you wish to😊

  • Thanks💜💜💜

  • Hi Vonnah as someone who suffered from severe acne as a teenager and has been left with scars and pits in my skin I can emphasise with you. First of all if you haven't seen a dermatologist yet you need to make an appointment. The primary doctor is all very well and good but they aren't experts in skin and that's what you need.

    Now do NOT under any circumstances pop or squeeze your spots as you risk more scarring. If one drains sterilise it and leave it to heal naturally.

    You are a lot luckier these days than I was when young as there is lots more treatment available now including laser surgery but this is invasive and very expensive and is a last resort. Chemical peels might help and so might the drug rouccatine though this does have side effects. My skin is a lot better as I had 2 dermabrasions on it back in the 70's and 80's. I still have some scarring and pits though. I don't think they do these any more as laser surgery has superseded it.

    There is also camaflage make up you can buy which will hide it but take advice as you could waste a lot of money. I got a free session on this from the NHS and it hid all mine - amazing stuff.

    Lastly I felt exactly like you did at your age, but you know what? Not living my life wasn't an option and I learned to have more self confidence over the years and have my fair share of bf's. You can too but only if you hold your head high and be yourself.

    Ok you will like me get a number of hurtful comments from men and yes it does hurt even now. But I have learned to give sharp retorts and bounce back. You can and will too.

    I hope I have helped a bit. If you want to pm me please do. Lil x

  • Incredible advice❤ that made my day. Your so right about everything. I am looking up the closest dermatologist office right now. Thank you so much😘❤❤❤

  • :) Vonnah been there, got the t-shirt and even seen the ***** video! Ring the dermatologist tomorrow and get things moving. Well done. Lil xx

  • Thanks love!💜 your funny!😂😉

  • :) :D xx

  • Hi Vonnah i don't know if i have this disorder but i hate my height and it often makes me cry. it doesn't sound super tall- 5'7" but i guess it is, because in every day life it seems i tower over everybody wherever i am and even if i'm at church, i look around and see how short the women are, 5'2" , around that height--looks so feminine to me- and seems like so many women are 5'4" or shorter and i feel like a man next to them. it seems i am same height as most men around me- as i look at men at eye level, straight-- whereas with women, i'm always looking down. and it makes me feel ugly awful and empty inside and there's nothing i can do about it. but i cry a lot about it. and i've gone thru crazy things to make my body more feminine- everything short of implants. i weigh about 123 pounds, and at 5'7" that is average to slim,,, but i feel my breasts are too small and at least if i had big breasts , i feel i would look more feminine despite my gigantic enormous towering height. i have done crazy contraptions like where i had to wear this suction thing on my breasts every night for a few weeks- spent $2500 on that- it was called Brava. also have paid $4500 for fat transfer - they took what little fat they could from my thighs and abdomen to put in my breasts- also $$$ on various pills and creams- i mean i've spent enough money to get implants- just too scared to do that step. and PS NOTHING WORKED- my breasts are the same as they were before i spent nearly $10,000 on them !! plus i feel blondes are the prettiest ( i have dark hair). i try to forget about it but every time i'm at a place where i see a short blonde woman with big breasts, i just feel awful and manly and i cry when i get home. anyway, while i don't have any advice or knowledge about your spots, i just want to say i think i kind of understand you, you're not alone,, and i continue to pray for your healing and relief of symptoms. i had acne as a teenager and prescription Retin-a helped that, and i heard vitamin k cream can help brighten. Blessings

  • Here are some links hun along with a professional questionnaire:

    bddfoundation.org/helpingyo...

    bdd.iocdf.org/about-bdd/

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