Can’t take it : I am having an anxiety... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Can’t take it

cinnamonapple89 profile image
25 Replies

I am having an anxiety attack right now - def weed induced. I feel like no one likes me. I feel like I’ve just relived every single embarrassing and awkward moment in my life just now. I feel stupid. I feel like I will never feel “normal” again. The depression has taken over and it has won. I feel like I’m constantly climbing out of a dark whole but never reaching the light. I just want to breathe again. It’s so weird to try to even put these feelings into words. I know when I read people’s stuff sometimes I’m like “what are they really saying” - but I get that you’re trying to convey a feeling that’s indescribable and it’s HARD. I am so low and every day I feel like I can’t feel worse than the day before - and I surprise myself with how much lower I can get. I don’t know when I got like this but I can’t take it anymore. I just want to feel like myself. A lot of the most recent depressive bout was due to me moving - chance really takes a toll on me. Everything about my life is different right now and I can’t take it

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cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89
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25 Replies
kjay1 profile image
kjay1

Change is the worst. It is so hard. It makes you question everything you've ever done, because you're not comfortable with where you are right now. And it's making your depression worse and you're taking it out on yourself (reliving embarrassing moments, etc,). I don't know your situation or why the move (job, family, etc?) From my experience, I can say it will get better. It will get better because the change won't seem so...different and awful...anymore. Give yourself some time to settle in. Last time I moved, it took me months, maybe a year. I also dealt with a family death and a major job change as well as moving multiple states away. Please keep going. Just wake up and breathe and focus on the small steps of getting through your day.

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to kjay1

Thank you so much <3

one-love profile image
one-love

Relax you are fine I promise, you most likely consumed to much cannabis and your over thinking right now and giving yourself a anxiety attack. I use medical cannabis all the time to treat my depression and anxiety so I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to one-love

Thanks so much for your reply!

one-love profile image
one-love

The feelings will pass soon and you will be ok, go take a shower relax turn a funny movie on something that's not going to be intense and grab a snack and you'll feel 100% better. Herb has never killed anyone just next time if you choose to use it again only use a small amount wait 15-20min and if your not feeling it repeat that same small dose 1 more time. Remember less is more

HearYou profile image
HearYou

Well, you say your anxiety that was definitely weed induced. The rest of your post discusses your depression that primarily evolves from your recent moving. So give yourself some credit here. You are aware of what triggers or increases your anxiety and your depression. So, that means you have some control.

The stress of moving will gradually pass....moving is stressful to just about anyone. But you self-medicated your stress by smoking dope....which didn't even out your anxiety, it sent you into a depressive tailspin. So you know not to do that again.

If you have been trying to deal with your anxiety/depression and self-medication for some time now, perhaps you should give some serious thought of seeking professional help instead of going this alone. That's not working. Please take care of yourself and find some form of professional support to help you untangle and see you can take on your challenges.

one-love profile image
one-love in reply to HearYou

I understand were your coming from but I disagree with your assumption that "dope" as you call it is bad. There have been many studies that prove "medical cannabis" which is the correct name is extremely beneficial for treating a variety medical conditions ( seizures, PTSD, chrons disease, wasting syndrome, Anxiety and depression, etc) and is also 100% safer to use then most anti depressants. Cannabis has killed "0" people from overdoses, now do some research and look up the overdoses deaths on anti depressants there's a big difference. so I feel that your statement is unfair on trying to put a bad label/stigma on "medical cannabis" now obviously from reading his original post it doesn't sound like he used medical cannabis and maybe bought it off the street it could be laced with anything which could be causing and adverse reaction for him. I just feel like people in your age bracket who still use the term "dope" to define cannabis are what's slowing this country down from excepting cannabis as true medicine and who continue to fund big Pharma to pump there poison to our country. Big pharma makes such safe drugs like xanax,oxycotin,loratabs all these great drugs that's causing the biggest opioid overdose epidemic in US history. But I hope you realize that the pills they are pushing out are killing our country

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to one-love

I’m a she! But I agree haha

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

I hope you take the time to learn how to speak without putting your foot in your mouth. It;s hard to remove it once it's in there.

No explanation needed...I know what you are meaning. I do some work with NA, and the members refer to as it as "dope" as a type of short hand when having their discussions involving any form of it or any street or rx medication they should not be using.

It appears the young lady had a bad result from it, and it was not rx for her, that's all.

But I noticed you never gave any reference or statistical provable evidence or the names of the "studies" to back up your opinions. That's dangerous, as without that reference material, it is simply hear say .

Appreciate your concern but not your assumption about " people my age".

If you want to preach, fine...but also learn how to do it with basic common courtesy or pm to me. And to know exactly to whom you are preaching. There is nothing to gain by preaching to the choir.

You appear to have no clue what many people "my age" really know ,have experienced or our backgrounds. Including careers involving alcohol and drug addiction, in medicine and health careers. and are still working and vounteering in various causes.

If you think other "people my age" should just buzz off and let you and others "younger" than people my age handle the forum without us, fine.

I haven't seen you reply to many of the 50+ posts or pms many of the "people my age" receive each day.

And just who do you think drafted and pushed for the laws to allow certain medicinal forms of it to be legal? "People my age" don't sit back and wait for things to just happen. And we vote. Did you?

Maybe you should consider doing the same. Do something about what you believe in, instead of "dismissing people of my age."

Think I'll just be quite for awhile and see how many people you try to help on this venue. Believe me, I have other things to do.

one-love profile image
one-love in reply to HearYou

I apologize if I offended you I just feel that labeling medical cannabis as "dope" is a derogatory statement towards a great alternative, natural, non-addictive medication. I have provided you with some educational literature you requested. norml.org/component/zoo/cat...

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

No, you are not apologizing, you are attempting to justify your previous oration and dismissal of "people my age".(Whatever that is) This is not my first rodeo, .Attend a few NA meetings, and learn from the most affected and educated people on this topic. I did not request educational material, that apparently took you some time to locate that would justify your "from the hip" lecture. Read your previous statement and my response, as you may be "too young" and inexperienced, to actually "get it." Getting one's foot out of one's mouth is a bit harder than you thought. Again, instead of defending your previous opinionated reply, try to actually do something that makes a positive contribution.

one-love profile image
one-love in reply to HearYou

Again your statements make no sense and you contradict your self. I provided to you the evidence you asked for with a quick google search that took me less then 5 mins to find you literature on the topic. I'm sorry I wasn't sitting around waiting for your reply so that I could answer you right away. Attending a NA meeting to learn about medical cannabis is point less NA is designed to help in recovery from one addict helping another addict. Again we are not abusing medication so how would an addict help and have more knowledge in explaining the benefits of medical cannabis to us?!? Most addicts are not in NA for solely cannabis use most abuse multiple drugs. I guess I should attend a NA meeting as well to learn all about antidepressants too. Thanks for the great advice, but if you really want to be educated on medical cannabis the correct way I would advise you to ask your doctor and do your own research like an adult.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

While on ship throughout the Caribbean, I sent several other emails to you that appear did not make it through the wifi /. One was a very positive comment on how you were starting to change to your approach to research. Sorry, those didn't get through. I'm back home for several weeks before I am in Barcelona, Madrid, and Portugal, then in Puerto Rico. on speaking engagements.

I believe if you're going to make it in the highly competitive field of journalism as it is morphing into much more, you may need to toughen your skin a bit and not verbally attack people who may have information that might add to what you think you already know.

Attacking sources of possible useful credible information because you think there is something to win by that, when there's only something to lose, may cross off your access to those sources.

A good physician or a good attorney never asks a question that she/he doesn't already know. And never sticks their foot in their mouths by not knowing who they are challenging or giving advice when they publish.

You really don't remember me as a guest speaker in the not too distant past, do you?

And I really do have a great deal more work to do. Just good luck.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

Please stay off Google.You will see rather often members of this venue tell one another to stay the way from Google information and "research" for various reasons. Stating you found in just a few minutes research that backed your statements weaken your position rather than strengthening it. It's better to quote the authors of the research, their conclusions and the original site of their published material.

I mention this as it is not strong method of composing a publishable article. Need to go beyond google info to the original material.

Other times members of the venue use google and then find themselves worry they have every symptom listed for certain conditions, and start worrying.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

Oh, please grow up. I think you are not "getting it"other than blabbing out insults to "win", when there is nothing to win. You do not write like a team player. You write like a competitor.

If you are going to challenge anyone at a duel of insults or wits, make certain you have loaded weapon.....this last message indicates you don't. And you could be swashed by a number of venue readers.

Many are quiet until they see something like you just wrote to me. I have carefully and judiciously respond to posts for quite awhile. And I am thankful for the support and trust earned from other members

And this venue is to help one another even if we need to agree to disagree.

Ktom8 profile image
Ktom8

Xanax can be addictive but if you just use it when u have a panic attack it should not be a problem. It works faster than klonopin If u play a video game that requires u to be fast and focused it will divert your attention. Taking a shower may feel claustrophobic and your mind will still be frantic I play a word game called Ruzzle which helps

Windy101 profile image
Windy101

I'm all for medical marijuana prescribed by someone who knows what they're doing. But just smoking weed in general is going to make you paranoid and more depressed. There really are different kinds and I know people who take a little puff in the morning and are good to go all day. But it's prescribed and the right kind for them.

If you can't get it legally, it's probably a good idea to stop smoking it. Like, now. Please go see a good doctor who knows about meds and can help you decide if you should try an anti-depressant that will help you feel better, not worse.

Your weed is doing what weed does. Been there.

cinnamonapple89 profile image
cinnamonapple89 in reply to Windy101

Agreed - however i've been on so many antidepressants I don't think any of them work for me

Windy101 profile image
Windy101

New ones are coming out all the time. I used to think the same thing - then wham, I got something that works.

one-love profile image
one-love in reply to Windy101

I hear you but what scares the heck out of me are the side effects. yeah, they keep coming out with new anti depressant drugs but they honestly don't know all the side effects including long term effects. Think about all the commercials you see with attorneys talking about class action lawsuits for antidepressants drugs that were released to the public 10 or 20 years ago and now just finding out how bad they really were. I have a good feeling the same new wonder drugs that are being released now to all of us are going to have the same outcome.

Windy101 profile image
Windy101 in reply to one-love

One-love, I know what you mean. I have to laugh sometimes at drug commercials that show people with all kinds of problems going from misery to having a fabulous time, with a voice in the background pleasantly saying that the drug can cause muscle cramps, confusion, migraines, and diarrhea.

Long-term effects, I get that, but honestly, my depression has been so bad that there have been times I almost checked out. Like, wrote notes, had a plan, the works. If it hadn't been for medication, I'd be gone. Plus, I'm not young. I'm 60. If I start having horrible side effects at 70 or 80, then so be it.

And honestly, at any age I'd rather feel alive and enjoy goals, friends, adventures, etc. than worry about something that may never happen.

This is just m personal view, not what's right for everyone - but I do believe that medically prescribed marijuana or anti-depressants are worth trying. In my view It's better that, than a life that's misery, or ending life altogether.

And folks, c'mon, quit fighting! We're all battling something here. We can disagree without being insulting. No one with depression or anxiety needs that. We're here to lift each other up, not down. Please.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to Windy101

You are directly on point. We are dealing with our quality of life. The more mature we become, the more our decisions may change from those if we were 20.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

There is always the balance of what will help and what has side affects. Whether it is playing football for the pleasure of the sport, vs the brain damage it can cause. Same goes for meds.

Birth control pill is another example. Has actually impaired vision seriously when first introduced.

We simply need to research as much as we can about the pros and cons of a medication and make a decision.

It is a quality of life decision.

And please forget about the legal ads on TV. The purpose is designed to gather as many possible people with possible some side effects to see if there are enough to file a class action suit. Very familiar personally with some of the firms producing these ads. If many people were experiencing significant side effects, y expensive ads on national TV would not be needed. I have viewed recently some of these ads are seen in Central American and Mexico.

HearYou profile image
HearYou in reply to one-love

Don't be overwhelmed by risks found in every medication. Some of us would not be here to write if we didn't decide the known risks were not worth the opportunity of a better quality of life.

If you're having problems with marijuana producing anxiety, it's probably due to it being a high THC strain. Typically, a high CBD, low THC strain works best for depression and anxiety, but it's best to discuss it with a experienced dispensary.

If you're unable to get it legally, try just hemp derived CBD which is legal in the US. I have crushing anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and chronic pain. I started using CBD isolate and vapes with high terpine levels. It's made a huge difference and has allowed me to live an almost normal life. I use a company called Veedverks based in Colorado, but there are many wonderful companies out there. Just make sure it is grown and produced in the U.S.. Do some research on CBD before you choose one.

I do still take mood stabilizers for bi-polar II and pain meds/muscle relaxers for cervical disc disease on 4 levels because I can no longer get medical because of my hubby's job. But the meds alone were just keeping me somewhat stable, this adds quite the boost.

Even with the more natural methods, please talk to a doctor or therapist who can help you form new ways to deal with anxiety. I wish you luck finding peace.

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