I feel so small

[dcoco17]

There is maybe an hour or two a day of feeling loved and the comfort of happiness within my relationship and in my home. The rest I feel talked down to. Never having enough money to share the burdens of this life. Somewhat useless for not working since I got sick. "Until I get to work and bring in income for the bills this is how I will be spoken too. And hour or two a day of getting to really "see" the person I've loved for almost 5years, the rest of the time I see a soul who in their eyes I'm nothing. How can I stay strong. I do not want to take antidepressants again, or fall further into sadness. Thank you for listening and being a support system.

[Terricotta]

Hi dcoco17

It sounds like you are in real need of medical intervention, but not necessarily antidepressants. I note that a few months ago you posted about losing two babies during pregnancy. This in itself suggests there is an undiscovered medical problem. Please go and see a doctor and ask for some blood tests. The underlying medical problem won't get mended by antidepressants. Some other action needs to be taken to get you better. The person you are living with isn't helping much. Is there someone else you can go and stay with - a relative, until you can sort yourself out? Living with this person who is constantly bringing you down will only add to the depression you are experiencing. You are never going to be able to 'come up for air'.

If you need to go down the antidepressant route, different antidepressants work differently for different people. It will be important to be on one that suits you. This might take time to sort out before you find the right one and it will be important to work with your doctor during this time. Antidepressants can help you overcome situations that are bringing you down. Once the situation has changed for the better and you are feeling much better, you could then start to address the underlying cause of your depression and inability to go full-term.

Good luck.