Please help me to control my anxiety

[Sneha15]

Hi.. I am 26 old female, from childhood my mom always use to scolds me whatever happens in the home is all because of me, and she scolds whole day. Previously I used to cry alone while sleeping, then I made my studies as a reason to stay away from home, joined hostel and went to higher studies but still, I couldn't control overthinking about 'whatever happens is all because of me'. Then I started controlling myself and stayed happy for few years.

I liked a person as he understands me and helped me, but he was not good, he lied to me everything instead of his name when I came to know all his lies I fell down again, it was worse than before.

Now I am staying with my family, my mother still not changed. My situation is worse, whenever she scolds me I couldn't control myself, I feel like my head is blasting and I throw the things so that she can shut her mouth.

I am worried because I am unable to control myself. Please help me to come out of my anxiety. Thanks in advance.

[Hidden]

Hi I am not surprised you are anxious living with a mother who scolds you all the time. I think the best solution for you would be to leave home again and resolve never to go back. I don't know what country you are in so can't advise on how to leave but I do think this is essential. x

[Sneha15 in reply to Hidden]

I am trying to leave this place, but my parents want me to get married first but I want my career growth. If I get angry at my mom that's ok because I can't change her mindset.

I always follow rules and tell the truth, when someone says you are lying I get more anxious, scolds them and leave the place. Never use to defend myself in front of them again bez I feel they won't believe in whatever I say. Once while traveling by train ticket checker asked my ticket I gave but she said, 'this is not the right ticket for this train', but I have asked the ticket for that train n took the ticket I don't know about rate and all, I took the ticket which he gave. When the ticket checker raised her voice and asked me about it, I said 'I don't know', she started scolding me saying 'How? you don't know this is not the right ticket?, you have to pay fine come to the police station'. I raised my voice and said 'it's not my mistake and scolded her to not to scold me'. Thank god I have a relative who is working in railway department I took help and came out.

My relative said, 'you have started scolding her that's why she didn't allow you go, can't you control yourself'. The way I behaved was wrong? Am I able to control my anxiety?

[Justswimming]

Well we all end up with a liar but its over put it behind you...you have to get away from mom look for an apartment to share with someone ..go for a long walk or a run if you are going to lose it..she blames you because someone blamed her so don't complete that cycle hang in there..see a therapist it will help you let go of the anxiety and see the madness so you don't beat yourself up

[Hidden]

I know it's hard to accept, however, your mother's behavior is her problem and not yours. You can change how you react and respond to her. Parents have a large effect on us when we're growing up and it's not always easy by any means. It's an unfortunate situation for you and wish you well.