Sounds cliche but it's the truth.
I wanted to kill myself the other day because in the strained mental state I was in I was convinced there was no hope for me. I had gone through the same cycle of improvement and relapse so many times I finally believed, for a moment, that I would never be able to get out of it. I didn't have hope.
That process was a rude awakening. Up to recently, I'd never really wrestled with the thought of killing myself before -- no matter how depressed I got. The serious contemplation caused me to cry for help. I'm gonna get help now. Im finally gonna meet with a psychiatrist, I'm feeling hopeful about it.
Hope is the spark of belief that lasting progress can be made and happiness is around the corner. I have that now. It motivates me. It makes me want to fight. I want to live. Really live.
If you're feeling hopeless, let the pain of it cause you to reach out more than you have before. Stretch your arms and grasp in a different way than you have before. You know there's something else you can try. Someone else you can reach if you can just make yourself have the courage to do it. To not care about the consequences of failure.
Because when suicide is your ultimatum, it really can't get any worse. Only better. God willing, it will get better. And if He really loves us like I think He does, He cant let us go wrong forever if we choose to keep trying.