newly 18 year old daughter w/ADD & Anxiety no job/not doing school work

[vettech44]

I have a daughter that just turned 18 and she has yet to finish high school, she struggles and won't go to school but is not doing online work either such as just going in to the school to get her passwords to start online, she says she is going to go and I come home from work and nope. She also has no job and I have told her she has to and if she does get one, it lasts for like 3 weeks and she just stops going. I am so frustrated as I have been a single parent for a long time and my husband is supportive of me but is not liking what he sees in her. She has diagnosed ADD and anxiety but refuses any more counseling and doesn't want to take meds. I hate being mean but feel I am at that point where I am going to have to be really mean to make sher start straightening up as I realize she has anxiety but she has to finish high school and have a job as I can't keep giving her money for gas and fun things she wants to do with no effort on her part to get a job or go into school to start finishing things up. Any suggestions being a normal kids you would have to be harsh on but I also realize anxiety is very real too...how do I handle this?

[Hidden]

Hi you are right you have to give her tough love. I would speak to her and tell her you are prepared to help her out money wise (or at least just pay for her keep and nothing more) if she gets help and starts trying to help herself.

If she refuses then she has to have a job and start paying her way. If you tell her it's either or and refuse to give her money then she will have to make the decision.

You sound like a lovely caring mum who realises she is not doing her daughter any favours by letting her have a free ride in life. She will never learn responsibility or how to be an adult unless she learns how to grow up and be independent. x

[lunaamy7]

I'm going through a lot of what she is and I have a similar relationship with my dad, I do have a job which I love. I think that the most important thing is that you need to talk to her about what she is going through. Something that I suffer from is fear of failure I am too scared to fail at an assignment or test because I don't want to fail or I don't want to not understand it so I don't even try. Talking about it helps.