Anxiety and Depression Support
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Suicidal thoughts every day for 5 years as my life falls apart

I see a psychiatrist/psychotherapist every week, have tried numerous medications, midfullness, exercise, volunteering, ECT.

It started with financial problems, but now also involves the police and my physical health

I don't want to die, but I can't find any helpful way forward.

Samaritans are just a listening service, admission is humiliating and there is no treatment to give me anyway.

It's terrible. I

I get lots of sympathy but can't find a way forward

17 Replies
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Hi Goldie11

I am genuinely caring for you. I am here for you. I will be supportive

and understanding of what you are thinking

and feeling. I want to

read whatever you have to say. It is okay to talk about things that might

be painful, even if it is hard. I give you permission to

express your feelings. If you want to cry,

express anger, or scream, go right ahead. Most of all thank you

for sharing your feelings with me. I

acknowledge the courage this takes.

I do have a strategy for tackling the problems which face us from time to time. The strategy is called structured problem solving. The aim is to address the issues in a constructive and outcome oriented way, in order to identify a solution or set of solutions that work for you.

You might need some help from your psychotherapist to get your started. It is basically a six step process which you apply to each problem.

1. Define the problem

2. Generate possible solutions - all the possible ideas you can think of

3. Evaluate the possible solutions from your list, pick out top 3-5 options - look at advantages/disadvantages

4. Decide on an action plan - specify the steps that are required, who, when, where etc

5. Implement the action - do it

6. Evaluate how effective it was - does the plan need changing, revising or retrying or do I need to pick again from my list of potentials?

The tip is to write the plan down - this helps with follow it through

Hoping this is useful. Let us know how you get on

4 likes
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Thank you Blackcat.

If only it were that easy. In the hundreds of hours of psychotherapy I've had and thousands of hours of ruminations there is no solution apart from coming to terms with the past and the ongoing misery, which is so painful.

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I feel for you, feeling similar, times can be dark but we need to cling to every bit of hope no matter how painful it is.

I'm sure if there were an easy way out it would be widely known and used, however our drug companies, NHS, etc have learned from the past making it more and more difficult to end lives easily, though I'm sure there are those that know how.

Sending strength and positive thoughts

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Actually I have done that. Spent several hours with a christian healer who had done exorcisms, but willing to try again.

Just looked up Bob Larson - he's certainly a colourful character and has a good business organisation. I had a look at some videos but I'm afraid I found them completely unbelievable, but they certainly made me laugh.

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I admire your persistence. Your story parallels my sons story. Even as far as the ECT. We stay positive and push forward. Try to establish a daily routine. Know you always have sething to do. Find rewards for yourself for taking baby steps. Don't over do it. My son just entered into a daily outpatient program. He doesn't want to go but I push him and even drive him everyday. He says it doesn't help but it takes time. Takes work and perseverance. Try to stay positive and establish a routine. If you would like to communicate with my son please let me know. Sending positive thoughts your way.

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You are stronger than you think. What I'm going through is not half of what you are going through and it is extremely hard. I admire your strength to still tackle each day for the last 5 years feeling this way. You are here for a reason, and I hope that somehow someway you can find something that will bring you peace. Have you tried acupuncture or hypnosis? I myself have not but heard it has worked for some people. You are not alone in this, I value you.

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Tried lots of hypnosis with out success and now today I'm in trouble with the police. facing a prison sentence

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I'm feeling pretty horrible myself. Hasn't been going on with me as long as it has with you. I give you lots of credit for being strong for so long. I haven't tried much therapy as it costs a lot. I'm not willing to spend money that I don't have for something that is not guaranteed to work. I would have to charge it, and since I can't work right now due to this crap I wouldn't be able to pay.

Your story gives me hope though.

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DBT maybe worth looking at if this has been troubling you for months or years.

dbtselfhelp.com/index.html

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Thank you.. are you able to get out of bed? I find it very difficult. Some days I never get up.

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Oh yes I do that,but not until 8 am. Problem is the less you do the weaker you get and the more difficult to do

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hi I know this is an oldish post I was just wondering how you are feeling now.ive had thoughts like yours for years the slightest thing can trigger it off.hope your ok.

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I'm afraid I am now in hospital; i was knocked off my bike and run over by a car; left with 10 rib fractures, 8 vertebre broken and a major head injury involving internal bleeding with neurological disability. I was unconscious for 4 weeks then got 2 DVTs nd had pulm embolus. Now been told I have had more brain bleed - subdural. Iam not confident about surviving as life seems to be falling apart rapidly (like Robin Williams last few weeks!)

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Oh goldie11, I am so terribly sorry for what has happened to you. Please know that I wish you only the best in recovering from this horrific accident. I pray for a miracle. Stay strong,, never give up. xx

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I hope I will survive. But the police have not relented on their case against me - which is all a fabrication on their part and involves my use of the internet (no porn or anything like that), but they have made a case against me which has so far cost me £20,000 and looks like it willbe going to trial- which I have not been allowed to offer any defence yet. I can;t believe how cruel the police can be and how they can distort facts to make a case even though they know it has nearly killed me; they are also charging me with causing someone distress as I informed him I was feeling suicidally bad following his financial arrangements which lost me £250,000. Life does not seem fair and the police are not wanting the truth, but just want to prosecute - which will cost me another £60,000

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I just want you to know that I will keep you in my prayers.

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Thank you. I must be in hundreds of people's prayers!

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