People commenting on my weight

[hgmhgm]

Okay so on Wednesday I was at this soup kitchen that I volunteer at, and this one volunteer comes up to me afterwords and says to me " you've gotten a lot heavier since the first time I met you. You used to be slimmer." Like gee thanks that makes me feel so much better about myself... It's not like I have issues with purging and not wanting to eat... It made me so mad and really got to me and I can not stop thinking about it... Ugh!!

[HearYou]

Well, feeling angry about dumb ass is better than allowing the comment to trigger your anxiety. Sometimes it is what it is. No more. Glad you didn't allow this to do any more than tick you off.

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

Ironic that someone who was volusteering to help people with too little food makes a comment about someone having too much food. Some people cannot be made happy. Not nice. Their issue.

[quieturban]

I hate when people do that. It's so mean and inconsiderate of them. They are thoughtless foolish people. Don't ever let them get to you. Some of them just want to bring you down just so they can shine. You are prefect just the way you are.

[gogogirl in reply to quieturban]

Great post!

[stacci7774U]

Wow..sounds like that person was born in a frickin barn. Maybe next time you should make sure he/ she sees you looking strangely at his/ her face , then you say , "Wow, I don't recall you having such (a) bad complexion/ nose/ teeth...did you have too much chocolate/ cocaine/ meth?". LOL I would sit around making myself laugh about all the rude, crude things you could say to him/ her , but then never really do it since that would put you on his/ her level.

[Windy101]

Such an ignorant thing to say. Sometimes people just like to make little victims out of others. It gives them a feeling of power. They're idiots. A therapist taught me a trick. She said to imagine myself as a warrior, someone who was a real bada$$. I pictured a woman in a red sparkling dress, some sort of protective headgear, gladiator sandals, with a spear and a shield and a *very* tough expression. Anyway, then you think of responses to have ready if someone puts you down. A good one is, "You think that? I'm surprised. Anyway, I need to get back to work ... (or whatever)." And then get away,! If you can't get away, change the topic by asking about them. "So, how are things with you? Are you doing all right?" You don't have to put up with that crap. You're a warrior, lady!

[Findingme]

Sometimes the truth hurts. Was that person judging you though? Maybe not. Maybe they have a condition I call 'foot in mouth' syndrome. Where they feel compelled to speak their mind without thinking of the effect. Sounds as if you already worry about your weight, and what you are doing is not making you slim. Maybe take a moment to think through what is upsetting you most. Are you binging and purging because someone is hurting you? If so, what can you do about it? Above all try not to ficus on the tactless person who made that comment, as they are not the cause of your pain, and if you direct your anger at them you loss the opportunity to use that anger to fix your real problem.

[Findingme in reply to Findingme]

Ps, what matters most to you, your health or your weight. Binging and purging is bad for you. You might look good with a little extra weight. Was the comment just an observation or a weird compliment? Either way, not ripping the person a new a******e shows restraint, but one could just as easily smile and say thanks and take it as a compliment. The bonus is, if it was meant to be bitchy that would really take the wind out of their sails.Of course, having a good comeback, or calling them out on it would be good too if you feel upto doing it, and it might educate the person that a. It is rude to make personal comments, and b. You are not going to be pushed around, but hey, not all of us, me included, can manage a snappy retort when caught unawares. Best not to dwell on it too much, but be ready if there is a next time so it does not become a trend.

[gogogirl]

What a rude ignorant volunteer! Did you tell her/him how you felt? If this person is old- sometimes they can be very blunt. I am older though and do not talk like that. However, I have met people who do. Talk like that is harmful, and is meant more for the speaker than the listener.

[gogogirl]

Very commendable by the way for you to volunteer like that- I have volunteered with animals and a senior center- it's great to give back.

[beaumontony]

Some people just like to drag others down to make themselves feel good. I'd ignore this other person in hope that he/she will get the non-verbal message that making such statements is unacceptable behavior. Remain positive and look for positive thinking people in your life. It's this other volunteer's problem with self image don't let it get you down.

[moonrising7]

I'm sorry that was said to you. Some people talk like that intentionally or don't stop and think. I binge eat also. One day at a time. People are rude to me too, telling me what I should do about my diabetes or depression. My therapist is awesome most of the time. She helps me think of how to respond to people. That helps. Sarcasm cheers me up also.😊

[Cathy63]

So many people don't think before they speak, and it hurts others. A number of years back I was at a playgroup with my daughter. Another mother said, "Is this your daughter?" When I said yes, she said, "She looks nothing like you." I know that's not as bad as the comment you got, but it's just something I happen to remember. That didn't bother me as much as the many times people thought I was pregnant when I wasn't.

[Nadia_FL]

What an ass! Screw that guy/girl.