Hello! I'm sorry I've been off the forum for the last few months. It's been a busy time of travel and gearing back up for another school year (I'm a teacher). I'm really struggling right now. I spent my whole summer agonizing over a situation that still hasn't been resolved, so I didn't get the emotional rejuvenation I needed for my job. Now I'm playing catch up.
I'm still plagued by worries. Many having to do with my job. One having to do with the eventual death of my mother. I've written about the fear of losing her before and I know that I should just cherish the time I have left with her- and I do. But she and I were talking last night she mentioned being in the last quarter of her life. I started to panic. She said that she only has 20 years left. To some, 20 years seems like a long time. But to me, I know how fast life goes. I know that 20 years is not a long time. In 20 years, I'll be 47. She'll be 81. I can't fathom being that young and losing the last parent I have. I can't imagine being that young and losing one of the last family members I have. It fills me with sorrow and I can't stand it.
I can't imagine not being able to seek her advice or consolation. How does an only child who loses both parents at a young age cope?