I feel like a different person than I was a month ago. I feel hyper aware of my evolution as a person and it's freaking me out because I don't feel at home in my body and mind. I feel like I'm a stranger to myself literally.
I also feel like I'll never find someone who wants to actually be with me long term. I feel like people don't understand panic attacks and not wanting to be around new people and me getting anxious when I'm driving and having to turn my music off and have total silence. A guy who is my friend but also someone I'm romantically involved with told me I was weird today. He said it v nonchalantly and v serious and like something I shouldn't take any way but I was triggered. I always feel weird but in the worst way - not the way kids nowadays take it as a compliment.
Also, most days I feel like I stick out in the world, in a bad way. I just want to disappear honestly.
I'm thankful for life but I feel like it's perfectly valid to be over it. I don't want to die but I'm really over life.