overwhelming anxiety.

[dawnaroni33]

I have been struggling with depression my whole life. Anxiety would come and go. Now it seems to have planted a seed and has taken roots in my daily life. I know its a combo of things really work, being a mom, wife, the way the world just seems to be falling apart. it weighs on me heavily. Everything I do makes me feel like I am dying inside. Chest pains, shortness of breath, loss of focus. My head starts to pound all I can think about is doom and gloom. I prey everyday for the lord to help me get though this day and it helps. However Anxiety creeps it way back for its nightly visit. I have had a long and very stressful day. Work seems to be the focal point. However when I am home relaxing is when my mind races and I can't get it to stop. I don't know what to do anymore. My little cousin took her life in November. Her mother my first cousin lost her little girl. Ever since then I feel like I can't get control over my fear of loosing my kids or my husband. Then all the media with all that is wrong in the world just crashing outside our doors. The stress of working full time and not having more time with the kids and a jerk of a boss to top it off. it is all just too much. It feels like the end of days are here. That god is testing me. I do not blame him. I know his love for me is bigger than I will ever know. I know he has plans for me. With his love I move forward. I just need some relief. It is overwhelming me. I feel like I am letting everyone down. I am not whom I once was. Any way I thought letting it all out I would feel relief. All it has done is give me chest pains and now I feel like I am going to have another panic attack.

[Muchneeded]

This is the life I'm living! Hang in there! I swear we are twins. Do your best and God will do the rest.

I keep forgetting to ask God what his will is. We have to trust him.

If you need to talk continue to reply Hugs to you

[dawnaroni33 in reply to Muchneeded]

Thank you. I ask him everyday. I put my trust in him fully. It will get better I have faith in that much.

[Lostjoy]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this stuff. I feel a lot of the same things. I actually keep deleting what I'm writing and starting over because just thinking to write about certain events is causing my anxiety to soar. Suicide is something that causes extreme anxiety in me. I can't even hardly look at the word. I've lost a few people to that including my Father. I lost 2 brothers in accidents. Now that my kids are grown I am constantly worried that something will happen to one of them. I didn't suffer from depression and anxiety through the years. I only recently started feeling it to where I can't function. I'm hoping it is menopause that has put me in such a state.

I wish I had some way to help you cope, but I'm not coping well myself. I pray that God will heal us. Sometimes I think like you, that the end of days is near. I quit watching any news, and deleted my Facebook. It all just seemed to make me worse. Chatting with others here has helped some. I never realized how many people suffer with anxiety and depression until I ended up with it.

Wishing you healing..

[dawnaroni33 in reply to Lostjoy]

Thank you. I lost both of my parents. Years apart. I have had so much loss in my life. I must've suppressed something now it is finding its way out. I can't even sleep tonight. So many thoughts. My kids are with my husband at the in laws having a sleepover. I should be so happy to have the house to myself. Instead I'm overwhelmed and can't sleep. I wish I could make it stop. And still I can't. I am glad to hear I'm not alone. Every time I talk to people I feel like they must think I'm crazy.