Hi!😊

[Alisaah]

I don't know if I'am in depression or maybe I have anxiety or whatever I would like someone to help me to find out what it is.I found this app and I think I feel needy I don't really feel good, I'm 18 and I feel so tired its like one day I'm the happiest person in the world and one day the worst one i really don't like this feeling .Last week I was in vacation with my family i felt so happy but when I came back those good times that I enjoyed feels like a dream and every good time feels like a dream I have so many nostalgia and deja vu moments.Sometimes I feel so energetic to workout but after that one day that I workout I quit and start eating like my body is my enemy, I'm never happy with my body even if everybody says my body is fit and u don't need to workout, sometimes happen that I can't eat anything and sometimes I eat too much and still feel hungry.I had to many friends but now i have only two which i talk to i really like them but sometimes maybe i don't feel in a good mood and I push them away this is why a lot of my friends don't talk to me anymore and i have relationship problems it's not because i talk about my problems,they think i'm happy because when I'm with them I'm funny and laugh so much but when i'm alone everything feels different. i keep them away from me, because I don't want to hurt them or anyone,and I think I'm not good enough for them. My family sometimes are worried because i get angry about little things for example when somebody makes a little noisy with pencil or whatever little noises that repeat to many times makes me so angry. When i was 15 I had migraines it lasted 2-3 years,but now I only have headaches often and everything looks boring and I feel so bad, and sometimes when I'm out and i'm surrounded with people or new people my head feels so heavy i don't really know how to describe this but my hands starts shaking and I can't balance my own body.I feel so happy with my friends and my family but sometimes this happens and it feels like hell..

Thank you!

XO

[mysmugcat]

Hello have you thought about seeing a doctor about how you feel? Some things you say sound quite day to day, some are a bit more concerning to me. Please, will you try to stop the negative self talk?! I know it's hard. You are worthy of your friends and having a good life. Are you in the UK?

[Alisaah in reply to mysmugcat]

Well not I haven't seen any doctor yet I tried to talk with my parents but they didn't find it important, btw I liked that question haha sometimes i'm so confident and I give others advices but sometimes happens that i need some too.. btw I'm from Kosovo