Feeling Like Everything is Negative

[garrettoswald81]

Until I was 31, I was a glass half full person. I just had my second child and life was good. I was a teacher and loved my job. On the last day of school I received a letter that I was being let go. I immediately fell into panic, anxiety and negative thinking. Later that summer I found a teaching job in Philadelphia and felt sheer panic and fear that I would be teaching in Philadelphia and dealing with real students in gangs. I was afraid. Two and a half years later I was recalled to my original teaching job so I thought the feelings would go away but they didn't. I still continue to battle everyday with panic/dread and anxiety. Now my pdoc states I have depression symptoms as well. I continue to hold my head high but feel so much pain. I am now an assistant principal and feel more pressure and anxiety than ever. Medications help but I still try hard to get through everyday.

[Struggling777]

Hi there -- quite an ordeal to have to teach where you don't feel safe but you did it and for a couple of years too!! Perhaps you can remind yourself that you did it despite the fear and dread and you also returned to your old job and got a promotion. You've done so well but somehow you need to deal with the anxiety. It is such a horrid thing!! Have you considered counselling? or hypnotherapy may be an option. You've done so well but you somehow need to enjoy your success and get help with the anxiety. Keep reminding yourself how well you're doing and best wishes Magsxx

[garrettoswald81 in reply to Struggling777]

Thanks for your reply. I have been in counseling since I lost my job. Thank you for your positive response. Sometimes it is hard to see that through everything. Thanks again as it greatly lifted my spirits

[garrettoswald81]

I forgot to mention that right before my promotion I took care of my father and watched him suffer through cancer until he eventually passed away. My mother was just recently diagnosed with cancer as well. I notice that my body responds to stress with severe anxiety and panic. It doesn't ever feel like the type of anxiety you can breathe through.

[Struggling777 in reply to garrettoswald81]

I think you've had so much to deal with and caring for a very ill father and losing him is massive. Your mum's diagnosis now is so tough for you. Losing parents and seeing them ill is incredibly hard and the stress must be enormous. Please be kind to yourself as you've got so much on your plate. I hope the counselling helps (not sure if you're still having it?) . I was taught a technique by my therapist for anxiety attacks -- touch 5 things, look at 4 things, listen for 3 sounds, smell 2 things and taste 1 thing -- water. I had several panic attacks when I took Prozac for depression and the technique helped a little x

[gogogirl in reply to garrettoswald81]

I am sorry about your dad.. I hope that you have other family who will also help with your mom.

[Nene1978]

Hello. I know how you feel. My anxiety and panic attacks been affecting me with doing great during interviews.

[Alicia463]

I believe your looking at it as if it's situational and it may not be. It could have started out situational and then picked up on the genetic side. We change as we age. And the stressors of like hit us. You have major responsibilities as a teacher and now as an assistant principal. Do you take the time to work on yourself? Such as a hobby, exercise, appropriate diet, yoga/meditation?

A big part, I believe of stress and anxiety is not taking time for ones self and not learning about personal triggers. You have to not ignore it and deal with it. You are worth the time to take care of.

[garrettoswald81 in reply to Alicia463]

Thank you for the advice. Having 3 kids to take care of I do not make time for myself. I do exercise in the AM before work but recently have had a hard time getting out of bed to do so.

[Alicia463 in reply to garrettoswald81]

I understand. I only have one and I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had 2 more! Bless you, keep your head up

[gogogirl]

Wow- at only 31 you're an assistant principal! That is very impressive. Clearly, you must have lots of stress on your plate though. I hope that you find time to reward yourself even if it's taking walks, being with a support group, and being around people who truly care. I hope that you continue to appreciate yourself, and all that you have accomplished in your life already.

[tuffy33]

Join the club bro. I have panic attacks too.