Anxiety and Depression Support
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A few things getting me down

So I was swindled out of £150,000 by a financial adviser, found I would have to spend £250,000 to take him to court over this.

Now have been accused of harassing him, arrested and awaiting charging.

My career has ended due this, my life is in tatters, family falling apart.

Medicines no help, psychotherapy every week. Suicidal. Every day I fight these thoughts. Not settling after 5 years as life gets worse. I fear I will be convicted and it all seems injust. If this happens there will be further pressure on me for suicide,

Any ideas that I may not have tried?

I would rather like to stay alive but my guilt and regret with this is enormous and very painful and I have become a sad. angry and lonely person and even criticise many of the posts on here which sound so minor in comparison

19 Replies
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Hi Goldie11,

I am so sorry to hear that an unscrupulous financial advisor is the cause of your trouble. They should be the ones locked up.

I am in Australia so can give you some ideas of what happens here in case this helps you over there:-

1. For the police matters, get yourself a legal representative.

If you cannot afford one, call Legal Aid / Legal Services Commission or see if a University has students needing cases to work on

2. Find a lawyer who might work pro bono for you (see point 4)

3. Go to government department for Consumer Affairs for some advice and who might bring his practice out in the open in the media

4. Go to a TV station current affairs show and ask for other victims to come forward to launch a class action (Very good one in Australia has office in UK - Slater and Gordon Lawyers is one of the UK's largest and well known law firms with offices in a number of locations throughout England, Scotland and Wales. Slater and Gordon’s mission is to provide people with easier access to world-class consumer legal services.

Address: 50-52 Chancery Ln, London WC2A 1HL, UK

Hours: Open today · Open 24 hours

Phone: +44 20 7657 1555)

5. Find out if there is an organisation that provides Financial Advisers Professional Indemnity insurance that you can contact (if advisor has insurance you can deal with insurer)

6. See if a community centre has lawyers available

7. If you have not been found guilty of an offence, check that you have not been dismissed from your job unfairly

8. Include your family in counseling sessions

9. Take care of yourself, one day at a time. Outside of therapy do some me things, like walking or having a massage.

I hope this helps just a little bit to reduce the stress of the situation.

All the best

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Thanks for your thoughts, but I've been through all of these things.

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Oh gosh. Why is it that the criminals are always the ones protected?

This whole situation just seems wrong. I think the idea about getting this person who swindled you in the spotlight with the media would be a good idea. I bet there are lots more like you who he has played.

Hang in! Hopefully things will turn around.

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While I'm being prosecuted for harassment, I don't think it would help my case to involve the media!

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Just been in touch with Slater and Gordon - They want a £700 up front fee just to look at the case!

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Are you not provided access to pro bono representation? I would think that a charge of harassment would not be as serious as a charge of embezzlement. Have you filed a charge against this person?

Whatever your involvement with this whole affair, you are being bullied to not fight back with threats that it will cost more money than they took. Stealing is a crime and harassment sounds like a smoke screen to keep you quiet.

Again, I would have to agree with others who suggest seeking advice from your local media who investigate such injustices. Drawing attention to your case might be needed to refocus on what's being overlooked. That your harassment was a result of being embezzled. They could be a third party to help mediate this for you for free. Despite what negative actions you might've taken, the media can help filter though to find the truth.

Good luck. You can't do this alone.

Keep trying all resources even if you tried them before. Giving up allows them to bully you into shifting the focus off of them and on to you.

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I had an article in the Daily Telegraph but they wanted pictures of me and details of me. My lawyer advised against this as it would prejudice my current case.

I feel I am doomed

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You are not doomed. Has your lawyer provided any advice as to how you can file a claim against them for embezzlement?

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it's not embezzelment, but professional negligence or fraud. The cost of a court case as said is likely to be £250,000

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I'm not clear why your harassment seems to be what's being focused on. Who is the victim? Money is often used to deter people from pursuing justice.

This case must be costing something?

Isn't fraud and professional negligence a serious crime?

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No fraud is complex and the police generally don't want to get involved unless it's to do with benefits, public funds. Professional negligence doesn't involve the police. Since mine was NHS monies, the Ombudsman doesn't cover it

Justice is not always easy and I can see how miscarriages occur. It feels like I am currently in the midst of such a case and I can't see a way through it or out.

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Goldie....Woah. So much has happened....I don't specialize in this but You better kick those suicidal thoughts out. I don't think you'll be convicted but you have to get us updated. You're one of my biggest supporting Factors and We have to look out for one another in some way. Stay Strong Goldie. It's not your fault, You did what any person who got "Robbed" would have done. You got this.

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It feels that is right to me, but the police are pursuing me with prosecution and I have become a sad grumpy old man who feels he has been mistreated.

Prayer is all I have left I think.

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It sounds like you are in an unfortunate situation. It must be incredibly frustrating. When I am in situations where I feel overwhelmed and have little control over my situation, I try to focus on what I do have control over like how I feel and how I cope with the situation. This is after I've had a meltdown of course. Sometimes just knowing in my soul that I've done what I could has to be enough. Many prayers to you during this difficult time!

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Goldie11 sending you lots of luck right now ! 🍀🍀

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goldie11 , just came across this and am horrified. You are such a support and help to people on the af forum. Life is so unjust. Why is the law, (or the threat of aspects of the law), always on the side of the bully, the non payer, the unscrupulous? Is it because they know how to work the system?

I do so hope that you have been able to see a way forward and that your demons have been laid to rest. Xx

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Sadly no

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I know all of this seems terrible to you and it is a terrible circumstance. But coming from someone who almost lost someone who decided to try to take their life due to a financial/business situation, I can tell you that you have to keep fighting.

This situation is stressful, I know. But you see, when you take your life you don't really remove pain and unhappiness; you just pass it along to those you leave behind. Your family will be left to pick up the emotional pain you left behind, and it will shatter them. Trust me, even if you don't think so, and even if your family is falling apart as you say, they love you. It is just stressful for the family right now and that wears and tears on family dynamics.

No money situation is ever worth losing your family over. Or yourself over either. You are a human being, and you are worth living for. You may not feel like it, and the person I knew also felt like exactly like you are too. But they ended up putting it in the past and it does not define them anymore. You have let it define you. But it doesn't have to be that way. You are more than this situation.

I sincerely wish you the best. Please don't make any irreversible decisions.

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Unfortunately I was run over by a car while cycling in January; numerous rib and spine fractures, serious head injury with eye paraysis and subsequnet DVT and pulm embolus. I've been in hospital for 7 weeks now, was unconscious for 4 of those and now still very disabled. The police are still prosecuting me as well. Where is justice?

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