So after a very long time, I'm clean off drugs. I started using when I was 13 and started using class A's when I was 17. I've been clean from cocaine for 2 years and heroin for 3. 7 weeks ago, I smoked my last joint and really started working on myself. Living clean is the hardest thing I've ever done. Nearly 10 years in that life has made it so that's all I know. I lost my family for falling into that life and I've now lost all my friends by dragging myself out. It's now been 3 weeks since I talked to another person. I'm proud of myself for the efforts I've made but being so alone and desolate is making me want to return. I don't know how to function like this but I'm trying my best. Does anyone have any advice I could take to help me adjust better? Even just a conversation would make my day at this point haha. Hopefully I can stay clean. No more using my depression as an excuse to get high
Being honest : So after a very long... - Anxiety and Depre...
Thanks. The main reason I started was my depression. Because I was under 18, my mum could deny me medication. I'm on 125mg citalopram daily to help ease my depression but the loneliness is the worst part. I've always had problems socialising. I hate to sound like a boast but I've always been the intelligent one in the room. Being around people makes me feel like I have to babysit so I tend to avoid most types of people. Always had mental health problems (only one in the family who does) so I've always felt alienated and never really learned how to be social.
I'm intelligent in the way that I can see what others can't. I can see lies in people's words. I do have pretty bad adhd which I was born with. My family thought it could be abused out of me. I have been diagnosed with major depression recently after an attempted suicide (which prompted me to get clean) I just really struggle with normal interaction and I know I have a problem with "muggles" when they drone on about their lives and relationships. I just always feel like they are always trying to bore me with the details of their lives that no one has any need to know.
I never assume myself above others. I never have. I listen to people talk but when I start to talk, I'm always cut short. I have a high value of respect which is why I get angry when I'm interrupted. Like I've sat there and listened to this guy drone on about a single moment of his life for 20 minutes, I start to talk about my day when something happened and the c**t decides I'm not worth listening to. I know people do that sometimes to others but I've learned to just keep my mouth shut as it's not worth trying if people are going to be rude like they naturally are.
Congratulations. Awareness, admitting your problem and being honest are huge components to your recovery. Now you need support, guidance and accountability partners to help stay on course. You can find that in 12 step recovery.
Google you addiction and you will find a fellowship that fits. There are several but all the websites will list meetings in your area. Most programs also have a list of telephone meetings that are done via conference call. Stay connected and clean. Addiction is powerful and it will try to fool you. Take advantage of this time of being "out of denial" and continue this momentum toward recovery. It will improve your life tremendously. Good luck ✌️.
Aiden 1996!!!!! Congratulations man!!!! Getting clean on your own is so hard, staying clean on your own is near impossible. Please find a narcotics anonymous meeting where you are. I was a lot like you, couldn't imagine going to a NA meeting because I am a professional with a masters and what could I learn from a bunch of low life junkies. Guess what????? We are one and the same. Drug addiction is the big leveler. Completely levels the playing field. I went to a meeting and I heard these people telling my story. And I found so much peace in knowing that I AM NOT ALONE!!!! I had to relearn a lot of things, and some things I learned for the first time. How to be comfortable with myself. How to recognize how I was feeling, acknowledge it , and not use or engage in other destructive behaviors because of it. How to listen to others and find things that I could relate to. I'm so excited for you. I used to think that no matter what I said or did, nothing would truly feel as good as being high but as corny as it sounds, I discovered that nothing feels better than sobriety good luck man keep posting