Giving it a shot

[Cmpolasek]

So, I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and a mood behavioral disorder. I've been placed on medication and am encouraged to seek therapy...but I just can't see myself paying to talk to a complete stranger who I have no connection with. I know on here were all strangers, but strangers who somewhat understand. Strangers who I can be vulnerable with because I'm behind my screen. I hope this site brings some light to my situation as I'm losing a battle right now...and I just don't know what to do anymore I feel foolish even typing this out...

[Hidden]

Well, hello....what do you think will happen if you start therapy with someone you don't know yet? Believe medications are like band-aids while you try to reduce or resolve your difficulties. Hopefully, you won't need the meds forever, but therapy is the work that may help reduce or remove the need for meds. What do you think?

[Cmpolasek in reply to Hidden]

I completley agree. I know how wrong my statement is as I encourage those who are taking medication for anything mental/behavioral should seek therapy as they go well hand in hand. Any clients that have placed their K9 on behavioral medication (prozac, clomicalm, etc.) I inform them that the medication will only do so much, therapy is where the animal learns to react and behave the proper way, rather than allowing the medication to do it for them. (I obviously train dogs...just can't train myself!)

My fears...I don't think ill feel comfortable to speak the whole truth, openly and honestly about how I'm feeling. I struggle quite a bit with just my thoughts, and even more when it comes to trying to say how I feel out loud alone in the car or in my house.

I fear of judgement (even though I know they're a therapist). I fear of rejection, by the therapist or my own rejection of them. I fear of having to speak about my past growing up, part of the reason I am this way now.

I have so little trust in people (including myself) how can I trust this stranger across the room? How can I be so vulnerable with someone when I won't even be vulnerable with myself or my loved ones...

That's my thoughts in a nutshell...completley irrational but uncontrollable. I wish I could be stronger and ask for help, but I don't even feel comfortable to burden my husband with it, esp since he has his own PTSD and anxiety after serving in the marine corps.

[Planner101]

I take several medications and hope someday to be off at least some of them if not all of them. I have a 4 year old sister who sees how sick I am and it affects he too and it kills me because in truth the medications really aren't making me any better. So yes I think that without the talking therapy you can't get better. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, press, and now with epilepsy and I feel at my age I take too much medication and they don't do much for me. And there some days they everything seems so helpless and so hopeless that I just want to give up. But my sister is the one thing that keeps me going.

[Cmpolasek in reply to Planner101]

Thank you for sharing and providing advice, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you have a strong motivation in your life to keep you going, and I hope you can find something that helps! If you dont mind me asking, what is press? I'm truly just curious and am having difficulty finding anything about it online.

[Planner101 in reply to Cmpolasek]

I'm so sorry press is nothing just a another ridiculous auto correct spelling

[Hidden]

Maybe to start you could find an online or phone counsellor if that feels more comfortable for you? There are some self help books out there which may get you started so you have some idea of the sort of things they might cover in therapy, for example cbt skills or act might be useful to read about. Eexercise and healthy eating also help you to get to a place you don't need meds, as does socialising -even if just with a friend or two can also help when you are feeling up to it.

[Cmpolasek in reply to Hidden]

That's a really good idea. Thank you for the advice. I will most likely look into some books first. And I exercise, but will admit my diet is not very healthy, mostly because I'm bad about eating throughout the day and end up with 1 meal that's probably not the healthiest. I appreciate your advice!!

[Hidden in reply to Cmpolasek]

You're doing better than me. Since I got down last year I stopped exercising and I'm not the healthiest Eater either st the moment if I'm honest. It's so much easier said than done!!

[Cmpolasek in reply to Hidden]

It really is. The hardest part is starting. I jogged one day, then didn't jog again for a week due to how sore I was. It was my 2 German shepherds that encouraged me to start jogging, they NEED the exercise and need me to take them...so by doing it for them I was able to do it for myself. After 1 hell week of exercise, you'll be so glad you did and it just seems to get easier. I compare my run today, to when I first started again a few months ago...sooo much easier. Maybe see if a friend would want to exercise with you? Or volunteer at your local shelter...most usually need volunteers to walk dogs. You could do it for the ones that are also in a rough place in life.

[Hidden in reply to Cmpolasek]

I like the idea of walking dogs maybe I'll see if there is a shelter near me. 😄