So lost

I'm new here to this community and i need help. I dealt with depression since 12 years old. I was bullied in school which made my depression worse and gave me anxiety. I still have depression and anxiety. I have ZERO self esstem and i HATE myself. I have body image issues and its really affecting my life and my family doesn't understand. They know i have depression but they verbal abuse me sometimes and act like i don't have it. They say I'm lazy and stuff but don't believe me when i say its hard to get out of bed and do other daily activities. I have no one to talk to. I don't really know what i wanna do with my life either. Since i can remember i always felt ugly inside and out. I have been on anti depressiants but i stopped taking it( i know thats bad), and i struggle every since day with depression and anxiety in every aspect of my life. Please help.

17 Replies

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  • Hi it sounds like you are rally struggling at the moment. You are not alone loads of us on here have been through it and can understand what you are going through. It is hard for to explain to others who haven't what it feels like. Maybe your family could look on some depression websites so they can learn more about it and how they could help you? Can I ask why you stopped your anti depressants? If it was side effects your doctor may be able to help you find one. That works better for you. If it was that you don't want to take them there are ways to get better without but they do take a little bit more effort. Sometimes it is helpful to take meds for a while to give yourself the motivation to get going on the other strategies. Exercise and healthy eating are good, and challenging your negative thoughts as in CBT helps. What have you tried already?

  • I tried medicine and therapy. I felt like my counselor wasn't helping at all. I plan on going back but i don't know when. I also plan on going to the doctor on thursday to get back on my medicine.

  • It's great you have an appointment with your doctor, maybe see if there is another counsellor you can talk to. Mostly if we get better depends on us getting on with the therapsids, and their approach so it is always worth trying someone else. Also if you have hobbies it might be good to see if there are any clubs you could join where you will meet others.

  • Okay thanks that is very helpful. I will ask my doctor. I don't know if i have real hobbies tho...

  • Hi Vonnah,

    I am truly so sorry to hear about what you have had to go through. I wish more families and friends and just people in general understood the severity of this disorder. At first, no one understood what I was going through which made everything so much worse. People would tell me to get over it and that I was crazy or overreacting, but you and I both know that those types of statements hurt more than anything else. I cant tell you that one day everything will be okay, but I can tell you that if you work really hard and take your meds, you will see the sun shine again. I have good and bad days, but I try so hard to be positive. Im thinking of maybe being more active in a gym, I heard thats good. And dont let anyone tell you that you arent BEAUTIFUL!

  • Thank you so much. That means the world to me. I'm gonna make another post to really explain my whole story and its gonna be super long:(

  • Write it and let it all out! Ill be here and waiting to read it.

  • I'm so sorry for you, it seems like most of the people in your life aren't giving you the support you desperately need. I highly recommend switching therapists if this one isnt working for you. Some therapists do better with specific age groups and some have very different approaches than others. As for your family it's very hard but I would keep trying to get through to them or like someone else suggested showing them resources for helping you and your illness. As someone who was also severely bullied as hard as it is you need to realize that the things others say about you are not truth, and you should be proud of yourself for dealing with it and being the better person. Bullying sucks but it gave me an example of how not to treat others and ironically showed me that I'm better than those who bully me, and that's something I take a lot of pride in and gives me some of my self esteem back. Best of luck to you and your family!

  • Thank you your kind words helps a lot. My parents are kinda neglectful towards me so i know they don't really care. Certain situations they say horrible things to me which shows they don't care. My dad is verablly abusive too and both aren't emotionally able so.....yeah😭

  • Your situation with your family sounds worse than mine but I can relate to that too. Adding fuel to the fire of your depression. It teaches you a lot. Do you know anybody that you trust and is understanding with your problems that you could reach out to?

  • Yes i talk to my older brother. He is very understanding and caring. He always gives me advice. He is pretty much the only one i talk too but he works a lot so i can't talk to him all the time.

  • I bet he understands a lot considering that he deals with the family life too. That's why my sister and I are so close. He wants the best for you and so do I and many others!

  • It sounds like your family is not understanding due to the lack of knowledge verbal abuse is never ok.You are a survivor your life matters and just because they don't get it does not make you wrong what you feel is real what your experiencing is real,why?who knows but your life matters,keep chin up and remember to think positive about you.what soneone else thinks is not relevent you be you and you are great

  • Thank you so much. Your words are beautiful and encouraging. I try to stay positive but sometimes i just can't take it all at once. I'm glad to hear that i matter because i always felt as if i don't at all. And yes i am a survivor. I still can't believe i have made it this far in life. I'm only 19 and can't picture my future. Thanks again.

  • Thanks:)

  • Going to a CBT group session maybe helpful for you too. It gives you a chance to talk people other who have anxiety or depression. When you hear others are going through something similar you start to feel less alone. You would also learn so coping skills for anxiety there.

  • Thank you. I will ask my doctor about those things. I don't know how to cope with depression and anxiety at all. Let alone stress;(

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