Really stuck at the moment

[Tobeapatientlad]

Hello, I'm Kyler and I'm new here. I came here because I was hoping to possibly get some help relating to anxiety and low self-esteem. For years I've struggled to connect with people socially, and I become extremely anxious when confronted with regular social situations. Through all this time, I believe that this has resulted in low self-esteem. I'm trying to help myself, but I'm only seeing myself slip back into these deeply negative states of thinking. I'm just looking for change, and I want to be at peace with my life.

[Hidden]

Hey Kyler I relate! Totally and completely. I get such bad social anxiety. I don't know what to say to people or how to communicate effectively. I get so uncomfortable to the point its 'fight or flight' response. It sucks. I am currently unable to work and I feel like thats such a big topic of conversation and I am like ok I have nothing to talk about but how I try to get through every single day. I totally get wanting to be at peace with your life, that's all I want to. Like I just want to be able to live.

[Tobeapatientlad in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, the struggle is definitely real. But a lot of the time I have to force myself to say that I am capable of anything. But I realized that my social anxiety is a direct reflection of how I see myself. A lot of the time it's hard to look in the mirror and accept what's there. But I try to picture a time in my life where I loved anything, take that feeling, and apply that to myself. I just need to give myself a warm hug sometimes. My hug goes out to you too.

[carrot24]

HI kyler! I struggle with anxiety have since I was 16 and am in my early 20's I finally decided to cave in and see a doctor because after trying to cope for so long the anxiousness was overwhelming especially in social situations or even making a simple phone call. I am finally relaxed, no anxiety and finally a little peace has been restored to myself. Sometimes you've got to trust the doctors to help too or even therapists.

[Tobeapatientlad in reply to carrot24]

Wow, that's really cool. Sometimes I feel completely powerless to my own devices. It never hurts to ask for help.

[gonkun]

Hi, Kyler, I would really recommend meditation, it helps you to be ale to control your thoughts a lot more and you are better able to control yourself in situations that would bring up your social anxiety, I used to the same as you but my anxiety has gotten a lot better since I started to meditate. I know it sounds like something a hippy would do (I thought that at first too) but it's really good it helps you to eliminate your self-doubt eventually. It takes a long time to perfect and I'm nowhere close but it really does help. Search up on youtube "a detachment from overthinking meditation". I can tell you that it will get better.

[Tobeapatientlad in reply to gonkun]

Thank you, I've been actually meditating every day for over a year. It is really good, and I definitely see the benefits. I think though that it just came to a point where I was focusing way too much on negative things as I would do it. I think now it's going to take a little effort to reconstruct myself through meditation again. Even when I'm just going through my everyday life.

[Hidden in reply to Tobeapatientlad]

Yes meditation is great. I try to do everyday. I use the Headspace app to simplify it, very basic meditations on breathing. And then I'll search YouTube for specific things I may be struggling with in moment for longer guided meditations. But yes definitely a lifestyle, more you do it, compounds benefits. I try to do it 1st thing before I get up and last thing before bed to get my mind at the best place I can. Definitely a great tool the more you can do it. It's good to take time throughout day too to just stop, breathe, And reset. I put reminders in my phone so that I can step back and try to not let my mind run too far with thoughts