Relapse

[Kaylie_mae]

Hi my names kaylie. I'm 16 and I've been depressed since I was about 11 but the past year things got unbelievably great. My dad got a divorce which made things either because I had problems with his girlfriend and I switched to online school so I didn't have to deal with social anxiety. My moms not in the picture that much but when she is it's awful we have a terrible relashionship and she has a lot of control issues. After my dad and I moved out our relashionship got a lot better he always cared but was just so wrapped up in trying to fix his marriage he never really focused on me unless it I was aggressively hurting myself. But about 6 months ago he got into a new relashionship, there was issues even from the start. I basically lived by myself when they first started dating it went from one night a week to two to three to he was gone every night and would only come over when I needed more groceries. 3 months ago we moved in, but his girlfriends house is only two bedroom and 3 kids so my dad rented me a small trailer and I live in the backyard. Not to mention I went from living in the city with my only 2 friends to living way out in the country with no car no lisence only occasional rides when and if my dads not working, but lately my dads girlfriend and I have been fighting when we moved in I made sure my boundaries were clear I've had a lot of problems with step parents in the past so I told her if she wants to be a friend that's fine but she doesn't tell me what to do give me advice or try and be my parent. The last few weeks she's been crossing all those boundaries and the worst part is my dad is seeing it and not doing anything, I know he cares about me but I'm constantly telling him I'm getting depressed again and he just responds with "You're being dramatic" or "You're trying to use that as an excuse to get what you want" I even told him today that my urges to cut are getting stronger (I've been clean for a year) and he told me "Well then maybe I should take you back to intermountain" I don't know what to do I feel so empty and unmotivated and stuck i just needed someone to vent to.

[LilbitLacey]

Hey Kaylie,

Im 32 and have also dealt with some similar life events. I can personally tell you that things will get better. Just stay positive and prgress will follow. It seems unbearable now but it will slowly fade into a faint memory if you allow it to. I feel like you are making the right moves to distance yourself from unwanted situations with your dad's girlfriend. You have every right to feel the way you do and to ask her to respect your feelings, is normal. My best advice is to Try to find positive activities to engage you as a distraction you from the urges to cut. Eventually I was able to block the negative urges all together. Sending lots of love and positive energy your way. I am confident You can beat this!

And remember, you always have someone willing to listen. ❤

[mysmugcat]

I'm sorry to hear this. Pm anytime.