To adult to be dealing

I'm not really sure what else to do, besides write my feelings out here.

I thought that I was past all this. I have been dealing with depression since I was 13. I told my parents I wanted to kill myself and they told me just to deal, and that as I got older it would get better.

I have been sexual assaulted by a boyfriend, and family member.

I thought that was going to be my end.

Instead I pushed forward. I am now married, I have been for three years, to a wonderful and supporting husband. However within the last three months all my fears, anxiety, and depression have come back in full fury.

I haven't stopped wanted to disappear, to stop dealing with my life.

I'm having nightmares, anxiety attacks, and I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm so lonely, and scared, and I am just broken.

I don't know what else to do.....

Any advice will be helpful.

Thank you.

3 Replies

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  • Hi nice to meet you. You don't say whether you have been to the doctors yet and got help? If not then you need to go asap.

    Issues in life rarely just go away and unless you start dealing with them they will just keep returning and stopping you from being able to live your life to the full. Counselling is the way forward and meds might be able to help as well.

  • I am sorry to hear that you are so down.

    You haven't mentioned seeing a health professional so that would be the first step. Your doctor needs to know how you are going mentally as well as physically. Ask for a long appointment so that you won't be rushed. Making a few notes before attending the appointment will help you remember key points when you are feeling stressed from telling your story (you might even like to give a copy to the doctor). Always end with something that you need that will make the smallest difference for you.

    Treatment options include psychotherapy (counseling) and or medications. Your doctor might have an interest in mental health and be able to do this or make a referral to a specialist e.g. psychologist or psychiatrist.

    Next touch base with victim support groups in your area for additional specialist support to help deal with the particular kind of abuse you have suffered.

    If you are ready, you might also want to report the abuse to the police for action against the perpetrators of the abuse. The police has a victim support section to help with justice process.

    Please remember that you did not ask for the abuse and the perpetrator should be held accountable for their actions against you.

    The journey to healing and recovery may not be easy but there are people ready and willing to support you.

  • have you been to see your friendly neighborhood psychiatrist to help work out a treatment plan for the new storm you are in? If not, what are you waiting for?

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