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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Hello

Hello Everyone!

I am brand new to all of this. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It has been really bad and I am looking for other resources to help me get better. I honestly feel alone in this fight and don't know where to turn, but not giving up the fight. I look forward to learning and growing with all of you!

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Hi Heather,

I'm sorry to hear your struggles have been really bad. I've been through some very bad rough patches and I know how bad they can be. My description is that they are h*ll. I've been there and back a few times. It's unforgettable. But we can support one another. I've been in a good place for many months now, so I can be your support with no problems.

How can you be so certain that you'll always have MDD? I'm just wondering. Is there anything you'd like me to do for you right now? Would you like to vent or talk about something in particular?

I have a long list of non-drug things people on this site have had success with regarding mostly anxiety reduction and a little with depression. If you'd like to look it over just tell me and I'll print it here.

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So nice to meet you Bonnie! It is so very kid of you to reach out. I honestly don't know what MDD stands for, but I do not believe any of this will last forever. I believe it can change, but it is really difficult to do on my own. At least that is how I feel at this point.

I am the girl that pretends I am stron even in my weakest moments because that is easier than feeling disappointed when I find nobody to hold me up when I am weak, but I am weak. I do prefer holistic approaches to everything. The people before us had it right (in many ways). I have tried medication, but nothing has really provided relief. I would love to hear any options you may have.

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Ok, I believe that MDD stands for major depressive disorder. Even if I think I might always have something, I never assume I will always have it. Tomorrow I will end my 29 years on a mild tranquilizer for GAD--generalized anxiety disorder--which is probably never going away. But the fact that I don't need the drug anymore is amazing to me. I will keep some available at all times just in case.

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Here's the list, hopefully you'll find something of use to you.

Some natural remedies and non-drug sources of information are books, videos, and workbooks suggested by other people on this site:

1---"I've found David D. Burns' "Feeling Good" and "When Panic Attacks" to be very helpful."

2---"I am working through the anxiety workbook by Dr David Carbonell and it has helped immensely!!! " His website is anxietycoach.com

3---psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways...talks about ”9 ways to reduce anxiety now”

4---The book “Freedom From Fear” by Neil T. Anderson. Addresses the spiritual aspect of the battle of anxiety with a holistic approach and the peacefulness God gifts to us.

5---Dr. Jonice Webb authored "Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect"

6---Mindfulness has helped many people and is now recommended by doctors in the UK. Here’s just 1 link that explains it’s usefulness: heartwoodrefuge.org/benefit... Another option of many is called MINDSHIFT. You can download it to your phone from Google Playstore.

7--- If you're interested in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (a method often used effectively in one-on-one counseling sessions), there are several workbooks available for not much money. One that has helped my friend and I is "Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks".

8---TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

9---UK site for stress, anxiety and depression information: panic attacks: nhs.uk/conditions/stress-an...

10---anxietytipsoftheday.weebly.com

11---"A good book that I came across recently is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, 6th Edition by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD. You might find this book to be of some help to you, although communicating your thoughts and feelings in a group setting is enormously helpful as well. "

12---“The book DARE, which is about anxiety. It’s a very good book about accepting anxiety and letting go of the fear. The author is Barry Mcdonagh and he also has a YouTube channel and a Facebook support group.”

13---For anxiety: Claire Weekes audio books on iTunes. “Self Help for Your Nerves” is one title that is good. You can see her on YouTube. “The Dr. Claire Weekes book is easy to understand and will help you on your way to recovery through acceptance.” Someone else says: “I like the paradigm of acceptance by Dr. Claire Weekes in Hope and Help for your Nerves. It is the preeminent book of self help for people experiencing anxiety disorders and the depression that accompanies it.”

14---I would also add Don't Panic by Dr. Reid Wilson.

15---For meditation time the app called CALM is good. Available on iTunes and Google Play.

16---Another really good CD and book is the Linden method.

17---How to be good with yourself: self-compassion.org/the-thr...10---Try the meditation app called Headspace. It's done in 10 min. slots once a day.

18---Videos on YouTube by THAT ANXIETY GUY helps with anxiety re: depersonalization/ de-realization states. The Anxiety Guy podcast is currently #1 in the health category on iTunes, and will begin taking you from fear to freedom starting today. Visit anxietyexit.com to subscribe and begin downloading the latest episodes.

19—For UK residents: Have you ever been in touch with the organization called MIND? They offer one to one sessions with a Project Worker free. They also run courses that you can attend free of charge. One of the courses is about anxiety. Their website is mind.org.uk

20---"Go on the Psychology Today site and look for a therapist that specializes in anxiety." Psychology Today has listings with psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists with their pictures and the therapists’ specialties and philosophies, sliding scale fees if they have them, education and insurance accepted and other details they choose to post for you.

21---Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? self-compassion.org/the-thr...

22---“Have you ever listened to Louise Hay on YouTube? Some of the talks help motivate you and hopefully you will feel a positive energy.”

23---“I called one of these online therapist sites. The therapist was really good. It was prestoexperts dot com. Her name was Lori Burke. Definitely a professional and she got me through this awful depression/anxiety morning.” (There is a charge for this service)

24---For meditation look at:

Tara Brach and Chopra Center

25---theworrygames.com/anxiety-f...

26---Anxiety No More by Paul Bywater. A phone app.

27---At Last a Life book by Paul David.

28---The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

By: Matthew McKay PhD, Jeffrey Wood PsyD, Jeffrey Brantley MD

A Clear and Effective Approach to Learning DBT Skills

rst developed for treating borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) has proven effective as treatment for a range of other mental health problems, especially for those characterized by overwhelming emotions. Research shows that DBT can improve your ability to handle distress without losing control and acting destructively. In order to make use of these techniques, you need to build skills in four key areas-distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Source: NewHarbingerPublications

Caution for non-Buddhists: Zen Buddhism inspired aspects of DBT, along with behavioral science and dialectical philosophy. Source: GoodTherapy.com.

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That is a lot of great information! I am so excited to try some new things.

Have you had any luck with turmeric, teas, or CBD oil?

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Not me, but others have. My husband did well with turmeric for his pancreatic cancer but that's no help for you.

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I often wonder if the anxiety and depression is caused by the chemicals in the food we eat or maybe a lack of Vitamin D or something. Always looking for possible answers. I also read a study that said often anxiety and depression can be a result of in diagnosed ADHD.

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I have a deficiency of Vit. D so I take additional vit. D...meaning no deficiency because it's monitored regularly. My 3 sons have ADD/ADHD and are monitored regularly by a specialist and are on meds for it and only 1 son has ever needed an antidepressant for which I monitor him and I find it very easy to pick up on whether he's depressed or not. He is closely linked to me and my moods and that makes him easy to read. Only if I am depressed and untreated (which was once when he was 7 yrs. old) does he need treating. They see a doctor every 3 months so they are very closely watched/monitored for ADD/ADHD/depression/anxiety plus I watch them daily and record their moods (and more) and report to the doctor.

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So, yes, I can agree that anxiety and depression can be the result of undiagnosed ADD/ADHD and a whole host of problems because I can imagine how miserable it would be to try to function with an undiagnosed problem that severely affects my performance and ability to do my schoolwork. But that list of problems would be long...how about dyslexia, and diabetes, poor vision needing glasses, and epilepsy, Crohn's disease, and so on?

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I would like to see list thanks

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It's posted above this comment. Come here and page up.

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I do not believe I will always have MDD.

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Hi Heather,

You are not alone! I have anxiety and depression, and have had major panic attacks in the past. Traumas in my life caused my disorder, and I am working with a great therapist right now to get myself in a better place. She is trying to help me retrain my brain to think positive, instead of always going to the negative. Exercise was one thing that worked great for me (however, I now have something wrong with my leg and I can hardly walk, so I've had to stop my exercise for now). The Serenity Prayer is my mantra, and I have it hung all over my house. I wrote encouraging phrases on small cards and I carry them with me everywhere. When my anxiety gets bad, I read my cards and focus on a positive thought. Mindfulness works really good, too. My partner bought me an adult version of a connect the dots book, and I can get totally lost just working on that picture to form. I try very hard not to focus on "tomorrow." My therapist has me start my day by focusing only on what needs done in the next 15 minutes. Then, when that's done, I move my mind to the next 15 minutes. I also have an anxiety workbook that I went through about three years ago and it helped a lot. Lately, I have been considering going through it again. This site has been helpful, too. I don't always respond or post, especially when I'm having a bad day. But, reading other's stories helps me to know that I am not alone and we are in this together.

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I am a single mom of a 11 year old boy. I do not believe I need someone in my life to fix me, but it is hard bring alone. I have no help when I am too tired, no one to tell me it will be ok, no one to confide in when I am stressed or need to sort out my feeling. It just is difficult to do on my own.

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I hear you, Heather. It's tough being a single Mom. For exactly the reasons you give. Then add to that your own medical needs and your job is that much tougher. We can try to be helpful and supportive here for you but we are limited and not the same as a life partner but we're better than nothing at all. I raised my 3 sons with an often unengaged husband who worked long hours and I know what it's like to be on your own much of the time. And worse yet...to have him jump into the middle of my efforts without talking to me about the situation and act and sound like a bull in a china shop...shooting down all of my best laid plans and upsetting everybody.

All I can say is I'm willing to be a support person here for you and I believe you'll find others who'll do the same. Hang in there, you'll get through this with a little help from we who know what you're going through!

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Thank You!

That is exactly the type of support I need. Just someone that I can say understands What I am dealing with.

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Good! And the really great part? The payoff...I have 3 wonderful sons!!! Talented, thoughtful...skilled...they all cook, can sew if needed, have appropriate manners around women. They respect me as Mom and they can say "I love you" to me...no hang ups there. One's married for 15+ years and the marriage is doing fine. You know...all the stuff you want to see that means they came out well despite my human frailties! So keep up the good work!

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I am glad you bring that up. I once had a doctor tell me that if I didn't change, my son would end up even worse than me. I fear that I will not be teaching him the right coping skills or expectations.

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The best solution to that is to talk to and listen to a Mom you admire. I ask questions of older moms and make them my mentors and it's worked well. I may never see them talking to their child, but I can tell if I like the way they're describing how they train their child. If I like what they say to their older child, then I take that and make it part of what I use to train mine. I need to hear about how they teach responsibility. I also read a lot about parenting and there are good radio shows about teaching your children to become responsible adults. If I put all of those different resources together I have a lot of good information to work with.

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i think the first thing is to get yourself a good psychiatrist/ neuropsychiatrist, one who cares to help you and listens to your complaints and deals with them. Start working with him or her to put together a treatment plan that works for you and your lifestyle. Do not accept just anything shoved at you cause that is a quick way to end up with even more issues. Once you make your choices of medications, stick to them and keep working with your doctor regularly to make sure it all works.

in addition to that, i will say you engage yourself in some self-therapy to help you adjust your behavior and life choices, eliminating all unnecessary sources of stress, and possible triggers (i like to call them drama) from your life as well.

Begin to realize that those around you aren't necessarily requited to bear your burdens with you and they aren't mind readers either. You have to learn to better communicate the way you feel with them without making unnecessary demands of them either. they are human beings, not perfect beings or aliens.

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Aliens?

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yes, their are no perfect beings unless they are aliens

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Hah! So aliens are perfect? Show me one! This I gotta see!

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lol.... i figure any perfect being would have to be an alien to this planet is what.

i used to be guilty of expecting people around me to be understanding of my situation until it finally dawned on me that everyone else has their own worries and headaches to deal with, just seems some more than others.

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I completely agree! Just wondering, isn't it fair to want your friends and family to try to be there in your time of need? I try to live wwithout expectations, but I also need to have standards for who I allow in my life. Can you tell that I am an overthinker? lol

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I would say you are a thinker, period. A bit of a philosopher, which is a good thing. Where would we be without the great philosophers and how dull life would be without our thinkers and philosophers!

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yeah, i too don't think you are over thinking it. We are all humans at the end of the day and tend to expect people to be there for us. But we should be careful not to penalize them.when they are not because they also have their own headaches to fill their times with.

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I don't think I penalize anyone for not being there for me, but it does make me less likely to reach out to them in my time of need. I can't always be the person they can count on if I can't count on them. Sometimes it just causes is to drift apart.

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what you just described is your way of penalizing them because they were not there in your time of need.😊

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I agree with you saying that other people have their own issues to deal with and add on to that their focus is on themselves and their own issues, not on yours or mine so much. And a perfect being is in His heaven already and also here on earth alive and well. I have given my life to Him and to His will; He lives within me. But so do I, the imperfect human being. A complicated concept to be sure!

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First...how do you know when you have found the right psychiatrist? Part of my depression is that I feel like no one understands me and I don't open up.

Second...I totally know what you mean about friends and family not being responsible for bearing my burden, but when did people lose common manner, kindness, and compassion? It just pushes me further away.

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you will know when you find one who listens to you and works with you to find the right medication to help eliminate the issue. Never settle for just any psychiatrist. Most of them don't have a real clue what it feels like to be depressed or anxious. Many of them have probably never had a suicidal thought in their lives , nor a panic attack. So the good ones will to some point acknowledge that by letting you help drive the process. Not shove their theoretical knowledge at you whenever you show up, no matter your complains.

unfortunately, we cannot make people do what they don't want to do. even to this day, my siblings are still disconnected from what i am going through and how devastating it has been to my life to date. But my mum is slowly realizing that something is really wrong and she needs to support me a bit more than she has in the past.

i on the other hand have learnt to grow up a lot - realized that this problem is in my head and not in the head of others because it is for me to fight and bear.

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I agree with kobojunkie in the statement below. And I agree with you about people having manners, kindness and compassion. People with these assets can sympathize with people who have depression and anxiety problems of all kinds because they choose to listen and imagine what it's like to live with these problems. That includes the psychiatrist and friends and family members. It's just not that hard to care and try to understand the problems after listening to a description of them unless a person chooses to not care.

I've had several good psychiatrists and family that seems to understand as best that they can. But I don't expect family to understand too much because I really don't need them to and I don't put myself through long descriptions trying to convince them of what I've been through. Ugh!! Why would I do that? That's too much like reliving it all over again. I'd rather talk to someone who's been there for real.

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