my anxiety and depression

[mpc123]

So I have anxiety and depression for about two years now. I was in a relationship for six years living with my boyfriend. I was madly in love with him and thought he was as well. We would constantly fight because I wanted to get married and have a baby and he would either ignore me or disregard my feelings. Last year I finally had enough I started Prozac and I left him. He never contacted me again, I tried reaching out but he said he was unhappy and didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. A few months later I met my current boyfriend nick. He is a great guy who loves me does nice things for me and is a good partner. I do love him but its in a different way than my ex. I feel very guarded and I have to have things my way and I feel like I am very selfish now. I would lie if I said I don’t think about my ex almost daily, but I know we will never be together. He is also dating a girl he met on a trip who lives 26 hours away by plan in Australia. My anger is so out of control I don't even know what to do anymore. Everything and anything sets me off and I have been awful to the people I love including my boyfriend. It just seems that anything he does even talking drives me off the deep end. He talks so much and when I’m anxious I can’t focus and he get mad at me for not paying attention. He also fidgets a lot which drives me insane. I was on Prozac for a year and a half and recently stopped about 2 months ago very slowly because it wasn’t helping me anymore. I exercise daily, got a puppy, have a great job, travel often, have a beautiful place to live and I’m still not happy. My heart is constantly racing, along with my mind and emotions. I am on the verge of tears daily for no reason. I take multiple vitamins now that my doctor prescribed but its not helping. I just don’t even know what to do anymore I just want to disappear. no one seems to understand how I feel either they just think I have a great life and have no reason to feel depressed. I constantly question my current relationship because I feel like everyday I feel differently and its so much pressure to be with someone when I feel like this.

[AlexSZfutureRN]

Hi there. Let me start by saying that I don't really know the ins and outs of your relationship, only what you've said right here; what I say in this post will be based solely on that. That being said, it doesn't sound like you're happy in your current relationship, and it doesn't sound fair to your partner to keep them around in a state of such ambiguous feelings. I'd recommend talking to your partner about the way you feel. Only the two of you know what's best for you.

See, depression sometimes it happens because of things outside their bodies, but a lot of people also become depressed because of their biochemistry of their bodies. It's completely okay and understandable to be both depressed and have a great life; it's not a reflection on you. But it does sound like you could use a little help. Consider talking to a counselor about all these things that have been bugging you, or even starting small with a diary for reflection or a self-help book to gain courage and self-love.

[mpc123 in reply to AlexSZfutureRN]

thank you

[SuzyQ1948]

MPC143 you need to back to doctor and get a different med.