my parents went thru a divorce in 2015 which affected me in a bad way, i ended up with daddy issues which led to self-issues. I was pretty bad i slept all day i stopped going to school i didnt eat i didnt talk to anyone i just slept and had constant crying spells. My mom finally got me to get a job and i started seeing a therapist which helped me a lot. Lately ive been feeling the same and because of my busy work and school schedule i have no time to see a therapist anymore. Its hard to explain how ive been feeling other than empty. I try to think of how id describe what im feeling and nothing comes to my mind. I know something is wrong with me because i skipped class and i keep wanting to stay home and sleep, i feel like i have no energy for anything. I wish i could vent away everything so i can feel better but i cant think of words and its frustrating. I want to talk to my coworker about it because he knows about what ive been through but the last time we talked he mentioned how much ive grown and how before i was a mess and that i needed help but now im in control and better. So if i open up again he might think im crazy and i really dont want anyone to look down on me. Sometimes i want to be this strong person so i try not to give into depression but sometimes i want to feel that pain from before, to be able to cry and feel something. That must be it, right now i cant feel anything i feel empty and my mind is at a blank, and when im severely depressed i feel pain and sorrow, i feel something. I feel like im constantly fighting with myself as if i have 2 personalities, the strong independent me and the weak dependent me and theyre constantly clashing into each other. I cannot find a median, i was doing so well and i was positive and full of energy and all of a sudden bam i feel like crap and unmotivated and its frustrating because you think youre "cured" but instead its a continuous cycle. Of course i learn a few things about how to cope but it just seems so much easier to give in. Im sorry if this makes no sense i just really needed to talk and ramble because right now i dont feel like i have anyone there for me.