how to overcome it!

hi everyone. i'm 27 years old and an engineer. Two years back my mom suddenly passed away.we all was not expecting and was in a real shock what has happened to her. As i'm the only daughter i took care of her on her last days. at that day i was in hospital doctor called me and said she is not more with you. i couldn't even weep coz i was not expecting this. i bravely held all after her. not deep inside i feel so alone she was my bestest buddy i shared everything with her. i feel so alone and now i have no interest in anything. i'm totally change person. i miss her on every single day still. sometimes my heart beats to fast this thing never ever happened to me before. i think i will die soon as my mom gone. i haven't find any person to whom i can share everything. i am in a deep depression and anxiety all tym. my nervous palpitation always high. i dnt know wat to do ? is there anyone who tell me where should i consult. i'm very worried about all this..

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  • Hi Ayesha, I'm very, very sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like you did everything you could to give your mom lots of comfort in her final moments. That is so beautiful. Dealing with sudden deaths so gracefully is very hard and takes a great toll on you. You must be in a lot of pain right now.

    It's very important that you start speaking to someone about how you feel. Not all of us like idea of a therapist right away, so please consider something as simple as a journal. I pour my heart out into mine. If by chance you don't have one lying around and don't feel like buying one, there are online ones like Penzu that are free. When you're ready to speak to a mental health professional, consider calling your insurance to see what you're covered for; if you don't have insurance, call your county's social work department, and ask what options might be available to you at low or no cost. Social workers are like superheroes. (Note: I'm very embarrassed to admit that I don't know enough about the healthcare system in the UK to advise you there. If you're in the UK, let's find someone here who's more knowledgeable.)

    Another good resource are free bereavement groups. I live in New Jersey, and around here, there's a big hub-style website called NJ Clearinghouse where one can search for any kind of support group. There might be a similar resource in your state or province. The people attending these groups will understand where you're coming from and what you're going through, because they're going through it, too.

    As I wrap up this monster of a reply (Brevity is not my strength!), there are two things I want you to know: first, what you're experiencing now is no longer grief, it's depression, and while grief is normal, depression is not expected. If anyone in your life gives you a hard time about it, please know that your struggle is real and valid. Second, know that no matter how bad the pain gets, it's not because anyone is trying to punish you or anything like that; you're a good person, and it's going to be okay.

    Wishing you warmth, comfort, & peace :)

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