I'm new here

[shel19791]

I don't know where to start, but I can't do it by myself anymore. I have given myself roughly a year and half to find some type of coping to keep moving forward in my life. That is when my youngest son will be 18 and I wont be as needed. I have PTSD and sever Anxiety along with many physical medical problems. I have been denied for ssi/disability because I am unable to get my words out to describe my issues correctly and had a bad judge. I have truly no hope left in my life. I live with chronic pain along with ptsd and anxiety and have no one to talk to, no friends. I have to keep everything on the inside around my family as I already feel I have disappointed them. And don't want to any further. I am 37 years old. And the only reason I get up is for my 2 son's. My story is long and I know so many more have so much going on in their lifes that I feel I am just not worth being another sad person. I have so much hurt inside I don't know where to begin. I do go to therapy and have been since 2014 and nothing has changed but is all getting worse. I am truly don't know what to write right now.

[michelleconrod]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way and that you feel alone. I don't have the answers but maybe I can help. I also suffer from PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and chronic pain and I'm also still trying after 6 years to get disability. I have 2 children that also have these conditions as well, so I know what you're going through. I find that doing my own research online is very helpful, I print or write everything down that I find the slightest bit helpful. I haven't done this yet but I know a few people who hired a disability attorney to take over their case and every one of them won and received years of back payments and the attorney's don't take any money from you unless they win your case, so look into that. Counseling didn't help me either, I had 1 counselor I really liked and she retired 4 months into treatment and I haven't " YET " found anyone like her since, but I haven't given up! You can look for counselors, try them out and if you don't click move on. Look for ones that specialize in all of the areas you need treatment for, or maybe chose more than 1, maybe you'll find 1 that you really like for anxiety,depression,ptsd etc. and another for chronic pain? Sometimes joining a support group in your area or online can be helpful. I've met people who have helped because there's so many people there and everyone has something different to share and you can learn coping skills and find out where they go and what they do for help and treatment. You can also get information about their therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists and perhaps one or all will be a good fit for you? Also don't limit yourself to just 1, my daughter ( who's only 10 ) sees a counselor, psychologist and a psychiatrist as well as a pediatric specialist and this is the best of all worlds!! It doesn't matter what she's going through because she always has someone that can help her get through it. You need as many health professionals in your life that you can get, someone will connect, you'll find the one. Don't give up! Don't let the disease win. Hurting yourself or suicide will not just hurt or kill you, your children, family and friends may never recover from that. Think about the most important person or people in your life- then imagine how you would feel if they hurt or killed themselves.....? Now put yourself in their shoes, how will they feel if you did these things. Besides the pain they'll feel guilty and responsible for what you did, they'll blame themselves and wonder what they did or didn't do, and they may not be able to go on and may end up killing themselves. I too am knew to this, I was doing research on how to explain childhood anxiety and depression to children so my daughter could explain to her friends at school why she misses a lot of time when I came across your posting. After reading your post I immediately signed on just so I could respond to you. I live in Calgary Alberta Canada and I'm going to give you my E=mail address so you can contact me if you need a friend, I'm busy as you can imagine but I'm never too busy for a friend in need! I may not answer=respond right away but I give you my word I will be there for you! ok it's [e-mail] my last name is with an o not an a, conrod not conrad, so I'll be checking for you! I hope I've been able to help you somehow, someway. Don't give up you; me; my children.... we can get through this together!

[Blue_81 in reply to michelleconrod]

I'm very happy 🙂 to see that there are people that care...Shel keep on fighting 💪 if something doesn't work try another thing but give it a chance. I myself wished that I could find that magic solution to fix myself but it is mostly a combination of many. Keep strong and remember that God loves you. Remember that you are an important valuable individual... I myself inherited my anxiety from my mother who also suffers from this illness as well. Its gets better sometimes but I have to keep it on check. Take care.

[shel19791 in reply to michelleconrod]

Thank you Michelle, I have a long list of medical problems along with my PTSD and Anxiety. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about things. I fight my hardest every day to just getup.