HI?

I'm a 25 year old female working in the nonstop city of New York. It's pretty ironic that I work with people who suffer from chronic diseases & mental illnesses & here I am suffering from one myself. I'm one of those people who smiles & laughs at everything but yet deep down I feel empty.

I constantly feel like something's missing. Ever since 2015 I've started suffering from Depression & Anxiety. I can't be in crowded areas or around too many people, I start sweating & feeling sick. I started going out less & less. I rather be home with my books & reading than going out or even having people over. Majority of the time I rather sleep so my day can go quicker. When my depression kicks in I'm just to myself, I don't want to talk & I just want to cry all the time.

It definitely has been taking it's toll on my relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years & he's definitely noticed the change. He honestly doesn't even know how to handle it. As much as he says he tries & he can handle I know he can't. I know it affects him the way it does me. I feel like the only thing keeping us together is that we worked so hard to be together before my anxiety & depression & we love each other soooo much. But how much love can keep people together? I'm scared that everyday might be our last together.

It's hard & everyday it gets harder for me. I honestly don't even know what to do anymore.

3 Replies

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  • Hi,

    Let me first say that i am going through domething similar. In that i have deprrssion and anxiety. The thing that i have started to do is write. When i am feeling dowm or depressed or even happy i write a quick note that sometimes turns into pages but i get it out. I also track the time so that i have somethimg to tske with me to my psychologist when we meet.

    Also dont worry yourself about "if this is the last time" thats creating an irrational thought. What i like to do is focus on where i see myself in the future. In my best scenario. It helps to also make that moment go by.

    I hope everything works out for you.

  • Thank you :)

  • You are welcome. I also want to say this. If he is telling you that he can handle ot, let him help you. I know its not always easy, but i am learning to allow my partner to be there for me. It al from a place of love.

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