So, I constantly think of suicide and have been to the hospital so many times. I dread that i will eventually kill my self one day. I just want access to a gun so I can be done with it. I am not healthy and just think of different ways to end my life. I'm not sure how to change my life. I have been trying I have a daughter and husband who both would miss me. Anyone have a cure? I'm taking meds, doing therapy, working to stay busy each day. Just any moment I have of down time I dwell on how hard things are....what else can I do?