oh look, that's my heart on the floor.

[starboy]

I have attachment disorder and anxiety, among other things. I found myself very connected with someone who even accepted that I am transgender. This person has always been there for me and has been beyond patient with my constant wondering and insecurities. I expect them to leave, from the beginning I have. I kept fighting against getting my hopes up, but time had shown that I can rely on them and hold their words to be true. Lately, they've been distant and clinging to unhealthy habits that they had worked to get rid of previously. I don't know. I'm scared for them. Yet I'm also experiencing extreme discomfort that leaves me almost nauseous due to the fact I feel I'm just losing a person after I finally let someone in. I keep telling myself the worst possible scenarios and that I didn't deserve them anyway. I just want to know how to lessen everything I'm feeling. I get that there's a normal amount of hurt and concern for things like this. But it literally has me crying and beating myself up about it, it's really bad. I know I shouldn't feel this strongly, but it's there. I can't get rid of it. I feel broken and that there's no way I'll ever get better. I don't know how to even get them to speak to me long enough to ask what is creating their own behavior. I want to help. Advice?

[Broken101]

Hi Starboy

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I'm a huge believer that if someone doesn't care about how you feel, then they don't​ truly care about you. And you are SO right. You DON'T deserve them. You deserve SO MUCH better. Let this one go. Pick up what is left of yourself walk away. Tell yourself that you are so much better off alone and happy than miserable with someone else. Learn to love yourself. Every part of you. You need believe that you are worth more, you deserve more and don't settle for anyone that makes you feel bad. Communication is the key. If they can't do that, don't go any further. I'm sending you a hug. I really hope you can learn to love yourself and find someone who you are 100% happy with. Relationships are not perfect. How you treat each other during the troubles times says a lot. Good luck my friend.

[Xand]

If someone is beginning to fall into unhealthy habits and feeling distant they could be falling into a depressed state. If you can't get through to them in a conversation try to let them know you're there to help them if they need it. You've been able to rely on them so let them know they can do the same. I hope it helps, and no matter what happens you'll be okay in the end.

[Cathy63]

Sorry you're going through that. Try to avoid thinking about worst possible scenarios, and don't beat yourself up. Those are two habits I’ve tried to break. I mastered the beating myself up part but not the worst possible scenario. I do yoga, qigong, and meditation. They help me feel better and put me in a better frame of mind. There are good videos on YouTube or DVDs you can buy or borrow at the library if you want to try those things. It might help.