Depression and being self destructive. Am I the only one?

[purpleshadow87]

Hi. I'm new. I've struggled with depression and anger issues my entire life. My depression got 100 times worse when I had my son 10 years ago when I developed postpartum depression which resulted in my parents raising my son. I have extreme anxiety. I've tried so many anti depressants and talked to so many therapists that I've lost track of it all. I'm self destructive at times and as a result, I don't have any friends, not a single one besides my boyfriend which the relationship is totally dysfunctional, but I'm scared to leave because I will be all alone then. My situation with my son really makes it difficult to interact with my family, so I don't go around much. Sometimes I really feel like I need to go to a treatment center but a lot is holding me back. I just really need someone to talk to and someone that can relate to how I'm feeling. Thanks for listening.

[tuffy33]

I understand your pain. I have very few friends to. but I have a strong faith in GOD so I know when it gets BAD... I just pray. Embrace the depression don't fight it..

[purpleshadow87 in reply to tuffy33]

thank you

[ceeeethomas]

Hi. New also. Thanks a lot for your honesty. I read your post at a really dark time and it helped take the edge off. I can really relate to a lot of what you said, especially the 'depression got 100 times worse when I had my son' part. My son is now 7 and I really thought some of these mental health struggles would have gotten a bit easier by this point. Like you, I've been working hard most of my life to deal (meds, therapy, exercise, meditation, repeatrepeat). Although I feel more self-aware than ever before, I also feel more depressed, anxious, self-destructive, out-of-control than ever before. I don't know how much advice I have for you, but I can relate and could also use someone to talk with.

[purpleshadow87 in reply to ceeeethomas]

Im so sorry u r struggling with this too. It really is a nightmare. Any time u want to talk u can message me