Anxiety and Love Help

[ih2364]

Hi there!

I have suffered with a generalised anxiety disorder for over 4 years now and it is generally well controlled, but sometimes i just feel hopeless and lose all control letting the crippling anxiety take over. So it's definitely still something that requires work.

One area of my life that the anxiety interferes with majorly has been my relationships. The anxiety disorder began when I was with my now ex-girlfriend and ended largely because of it. I just lost all feelings of love and closeness when I started to chronically fear everything on a daily basis. Now whenever I meet somebody new I just don't seem to be able to develop them feelings just because I always have an underlying hum of anxiety and a knot in my stomach.

I am wondering what other people's experiences are of having an anxiety disorder in a relationship or someone who has been with someone experiencing it? I am very confused as to whether I just don't feel anything for these people because they're not right for me or whether the fear induced by anxiety is clouding all judgement and feelings. Everyone's experiences/advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Kobojunkie]

do you have a psychiatrist helping you to treat the anxiety problems you have? If no, please go get one and start on a part to living a better quality of life, hopefully one without anxiety.

even better if you can find a neuropsychiatrist, that would be much better.

[ih2364 in reply to Kobojunkie]

Hi,

Regrettably after all this time I have never sought professional help and have just taken the self help approach with limited success. I always felt ridiculous admitting I have a problem that can't be seen. That has definitely changed now, so I think it's time to look for help...

Thanks for your reply!

[Goodhumorme]

I don't necessarily have a suggestion but I can relate to the experience of having anxiety complicate and derail romantic relationships. It's confusing you have all these strong feelings and all of the sudden it seems like they disappear I can relate. I have taken time off from romantic relationships while I try to better understand my own anxiety. Also I think understanding the way you were raised and thinking about your past experience of loving relationships can be eye opening. How are your friendships? In the time I have taken off from romantic relationships I have made some strong friendships which have been helpful.

Best of luck,

J

[ih2364 in reply to Goodhumorme]

Hi J,

Thanks for your reply. I have also taken some time off from romantic relationships and have recently met someone but my feelings of anxiety seem to be blocking me from actually experiencing any emotion regarding her. It's extremely confusing haha. Luckily I have great friendships to see me through and am steadily working on figuring this out, just don't know how long it'll take...

Thanks again!