I feel so hopeless

[Kittycat1]

I feel so angry at myself no matter how much I fight I let my depression bring me down I just want to Be happy I have these two wonderful children I love my children so much I will give my life for my children there is nothing I wouldn't do for my children. why can't I beat this depression for them this makes me hate my self I am aware that when i get drag down and get really depressed my mind makes me feel things they're not real or true like I'm worthless no one loves me everything is meaningless I have a big empty space that will never be filled so much pain.when is this ever going to end I want to be stronger for my children

[BonnieSue]

This can end but you must seek help and accept it when you find it. You need a good psychiatrist and a good therapist. The psych Dr. prescribes and diagnoses, not in that order. The therapist counsels you in many ways and guides you and helps you to understand so very much.

Please find and make appointments for each asap because it takes time to get in and get started with each one. You can go to the site of Psychology Today and see photos of persons of each profession, their philosophies and education, their sliding fee scale if they have one, their specialties, insurance accepted and so forth.

I wish you great progress and happiness!

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

Its hard when you hate yourself, and thinking that you should be better because you have children just makes it worse. Brings on the false guilt. It's the "shoulds" that get us. I'm sure you know that your children love you, and I have no doubt they know you love them too. You're not less than because you have a disorder. Don't link the two. Continue to love your children and also work with someone on your self esteem and depression. Its okay, you can do both at the same time.

[Sailingmom]

I understand your feelings. I am going thru very similar situation. Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and am on meds but they aren't working. I feel sadness every single day. I can't do anything on my to do list. I have nothing to live for. I'm hoping this group can help. You should go back to your psychiatrist to get him to prescribe new or different add ons to your medication. Do this ASAP. Unfortunately, it takes time to get into your system to begin to relieve your symptoms. Do get that help!! If you can't afford your medications, there are assistance programs via the pharmaceutical manufacturer programs. Look into it!!