Panicked again badly

[Natsteveo]

Well I've woken up again all anxious keep thinking nasty thoughts that I'm gonna die of something terminal stupid I know but I cant help it or seem to shift the feeling I've got the horrible feeling of dread in my tummy.I'm red hot shaking heart is pounding I can't seem to calm down at all.I can't even tell you what triggered me off to be honest my mind is all over the place thinking stupid things I know it's ridiculous but it a big deal to me. Every pain I get I always think I'm dying of cancer or something I hate feeling like this I hate it.I'm such a bubbly person who has a husband and a daughter who roll their eyes at me when I go off like this but it's a big thing to me I'm laying here now crying as I write this as I've had 2 panic attacks while doing it I've got work later and don't feel I can get to go because I will panic like he'll does anyone else suffer like this with health anxiety or panic I also have really bad dreams when I'm like this too

[TayTAY21]

I wake up feeling the same way. I know exactly how your feeling. Trying to shake the feeling its so hard...

[Natsteveo in reply to TayTAY21]

It really is thank you for the reply it means alot

[TayTAY21 in reply to Natsteveo]

Your welcome. We need to support each other because we know exactly how he other feel.

[Natsteveo in reply to TayTAY21]

Yes we do xx

[Ah1232]

My dad died of cancer when I was young and I am a single mom. So I understand that fear. I went to the doctor and he gave me blood work for a cancer screening. I just need to have some peace of mind.

[TayTAY21 in reply to Ah1232]

My dad also died of cancer. Everything will be ok.

[Ah1232 in reply to TayTAY21]

Breath! Yes it will!

[Ah1232 in reply to TayTAY21]

I think because of the way our dads died impacted us. The trauma behind the loss. My dad had colon cancer so it was traumatic seeing him die. I really never grieved because my mom handled it my going to work.and keeping busy. Now as an adult I want to get him a resting place to just go and talk to him and tell him how much I love him and miss him. We put his ashes in the river. Just opening up on here and talking about it is very healing.

[Natsteveo in reply to Ah1232]

I've got a lovely spot in my garden with my mum's favourite magnolia tree with a few little uplifting Angel ornaments with her favourite plants and I sit with her every morning and talk to her as we always rang each other in the morning so I still like to talk to her that's my little place for my mum xx

[Ah1232 in reply to Natsteveo]

That is wonderful that you have this communication with her. I haven't gotten there yet. He wanted his ashes in the river so that's a place I could go. I live in San Marcos TX and the river is beautiful. He wanted his ashes to be put in a certain place by a waterfall. This location isn't very private but there are other locations that are. It's been on my heart very heavily. Thank you for your inspiration.

[Natsteveo in reply to Ah1232]

My mum died in my arms of pancreatic cancer it will be 10 years this month afyer that that was wen my problem escalated

[Jan810]

Hi, sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time. I really think you should seek some counselling to help with your anxiety. It sounds like it really interferes with your life. You obviously have some unresolved issues that need working on. Maybe you could ask your daughter or husband for a big hug to calm you down the next time you are in distress. It must be a horrible way to live, thinking that you are going to die everyday. Please try and practice some relaxation and breathe. There may come a day when you may be genuinely ill but in the meantime you stopped enjoying life because you are so worried about what could be around the corner. Try to live in the moment and enjoy each new day as it comes. Your husband and daughter need you and love you and I'm sure they would want you to be happy. X

[Natsteveo in reply to Jan810]

Thankyou very much for your reply it means alot and made sense to me.ive had therapy it works for a while then something triggers me and i start all over again.their is a underlining problem my mum died in my arms of pancreatic cancer it will be her 10th memorial this march a day before mothers day aswell i have been thinking about her alot and missing her so badly she was more than a mum she was my best friend and soulmate since shes been gone half of me feels so empty and lost.not alot of ppl understand me when i explain my anxiety and i just feel so lonely even though im not

[Jan810]

I'm so sorry that you lost your mum and especially the way that you did . It must be something that stays with you everyday of your life. She sounds like she was a great mum to you you had a very loving relationship. You must miss her very much. I bet your mum would never want you to feel this way. She would want you to be happy and know that you are living life to the fullest. Please stick at the therapy since it does work for you. Could you discuss triggers and how you can calm yourself when you feel that you are having an attack coming on? It must be extremely hard at the moment with the anniversary of her death coming up. Please remember that you are a mother now and your daughter needs you the way you needed your mum. Please stay strong for her and yourself. Try to remember your mum for all the amazing things and the lovely memories that you have of her. Maybe do something nice or visit somewhere she loved going, so that you can remember the good times before she got sick. X

[Ah1232]

I wanted to mention there is a certain therapy specifically for trauma mdmr. I am starting the work with my therapist next week. It is hard work but the pay off is worth it.

[Jan810 in reply to Ah1232]

Well done. I hope that you find lots of peace. Good luck . X

[Natsteveo]

Sounds good to me I will try anything to get back some sort of normality.thanks jan810 I am gonna get back to how I were I've just gotta concentrate on it more my daughter doesn't see me like this anymore as she's 20 now so has her own place and life now I don't see her as much as I would like but I have to let her live her own life.but I will make it a good day and my mum would go mad at me if she saw me like this thanks a lot honey means a lot to me xxx

[Jan810 in reply to Natsteveo]

Your very welcome. I sincerely hope that you find peace with her passing one day. Best wishes to you and take care of yourself. X

[Natsteveo in reply to Jan810]

Same to you and thanks again xx

[awanna]

Hi.. Everything is gonna be OK..Just talk through your anxiety or do something that makes you smile..I know it's hard...But don't give up..There is still hope

[Kobojunkie]

why suffer needlessly? If you are already on meds and still having panic attacks, go see your doctor about it.

if you are not on meds to help stop the suffering, then I ask what are you waiting for? If death is what you are afraid of, it will come to all, whether on meds or not. Cancer is not the only killer out there. There are a million and one ways yo die. I used to be afraid my heart would give out during one of those panic episodes I used to have.

Even the Amish die sudden deaths, so their is no need to suffer needlessly.

i have been on meds and have not had a single panic attack, anxiety attack and even a cataplexy seizure in over a month of having my meds properly titrated. I have not woken up overcome with terror in all that time either. Life is too short to live it from one attack to another. You are better off without them and your doctor can best help with that.

[Bebetterme]

I can relate to you a lot. My household has been ridden with illness for the last month. Common cold, the flu, pink eye, rotavirus. Now I still feel unwell and have determined that I either have meningitis or some other underlying medical condition. It's very scary and frustrating to feel like this. Now I can't determine if my symptoms are anxiety or something else. You aren't alone.

[Natsteveo in reply to Bebetterme]

Tha ks for your reply it makes me feel good that im not alone while battling this