Baby panic...does anyone else suffer from this?

[va1989]

I think the majority of my anxiety is induced by this. I was in a a very serious relationship for 2 years and he walked out on me one day without so much as a word. We were living together and he just never came home one day; never heard from him again. Never even came back to move his stuff out. And yes, he's still alive. He's now dating someone I know about 2 miles from where I live. That being said, it did a number on me. It's been a year and a half and I'm finally on the better side of that and am ready to get back out there.

But recently, with my next birthday approaching in a couple of weeks (I'll be turning 28) I've begun to get these awful anxiety attacks that are crippling and downright debilitating at times. I fear that I waited too long to move on from my last relationship (though I really did need a healthy amount of time to get beyond all of that), and that if I don't find someone soon, I will lose my chance at having children. Reproductive cancers are prevalent in my family at a young age, so that, on top of the constant reminders from societal and biological pressures about how important it is to try to have kids before you're 35 (statistically speaking, healthy pregnancies seem to plummet after 35..if anyone can disprove this feel free, you'll be my hero), doesn't offer a whole lot of time for me considering I'm not even dating someone as of right now.

If it weren't for children, I would not feel so much pressure to find someone. I am very independent and happy to be on my own. I have a great job and am focused on my career and working on a masters degree. I'm comfortable with who I am and for the most part, have my life pretty well put together. But I'm terrified of not being able to be a mother. Friends and family are starting to ask, and without even an ounce of empathy I get a lot of, "well you can always adopt". I'm all for adoption, but I have that indescribable "need" to carry my own children and share that with someone that I love. So the insensitive "well you can always adopt" remark, only feeds my anxiety. I don't want to rush into anything, I want it to happen naturally. I'm skeptical of online dating, though I have tried it; it all just seems so forced, not to mention, kind of expensive. But it's hard to just "let it happen" with all of this unwanted pressure. I'm ready to have a family, and we were really settling down in my last relationship. But I want it to be right and I don't want to become desperate due to my anxieties.

How do I deal with this?? It's like everyone around me at my age or younger is either married, getting married, or having babies. It's crippling me and my ability to function in day to day life now and I don't know how to overcome this.

Also, as a sidebar, please don't suggest egg freezing. While that's a wonderful and welcomed alternative, it's incredibly expensive and of course not covered by insurance, so it's not an option for me anytime soon.

Thank y'all for any support and I look forward to talking with anyone who can relate to this awful feeling.

[AnxiousGirl87]

That causes me anxiety as well. I'm 29 and I have PCOS. I know with every year that goes by my chances of getting pregnant get worse. But I also right now would be disastrous time for me to have a baby. It sucks though. I've always always always wanted kids. I would love to adopt but I'd also love to experience pregnancy and all of that at least once. I honestly feel like none of that will ever happen for me.

[Nomoresideffectmeds in reply to AnxiousGirl87]

Same pocs loss of pregance in past ex isssues cant find a giy i click with need adsting break i spend teo year looking but im so rsuhed havnt had a period in 5 monthes 27 everyday im not going a a date trying i feel guilty everytime im not hondong my gyno about my fears of helping you would have children as I get older I get depressed but I can't seem to get out and go on dates I can't seem to go work out to make myself look better to meet somebody because I did all that and it didn't work I have the love of a life lock them he didn't even care that we lost what we lost end I'm scared that it won't stick again together they have to do it on my own and I can only afford the medication and the donation can I have my parents help me but they have to say if wait 1:30 to try to meet somebody first but I have all this pressure and I think by the time I'm 30 and might be too late still I can't afford IVF or anything like that on my own I'm a preschool teacher kids are my life if I can't have kids especially suffering the loss that I suffered I don't know what I would do I feel all the pressure and I feel all this dress to Dave & but I did it for 2 years and it wasn't healthy and it was hard every time it didn't work out and it's hard I have to find somebody who wants to you know relationship with me and get married to me and then kids and mediately and try to deal with that and all the while and 27 it just keeps getting harder and I haven't had my. And I've already had this loss and it's just bad luck that I feel like this sticking with me lingering over me my PTSD over the whole thing and I am so upset this is all I talk about and think about it's just so hard all I wanted to kid I love my preschooler so much and I can only imagine with my own if I can't have that I don't know what I would do would be so upset and I want to have it with a guy I see all these happy couples and it's so hard for me to meet somebody I click with and I've tried dating people and giving them chances and it hasn't worked I've even tried having kids with people I dated after the ex love of my life and it didn't work so I know I'm going to need to be on medication it's just so hard I feel the same way I feel like my time is running out when it comes to having kids and it makes me depressed and it makes it all worse

[va1989]

I'm aware of that, but if you read the entire post, you would understand that I want my own biological children.