Can't trust anyone and/or my own decisions

[Jilld1314]

I'm not sure who i can and can't trust. I dont trust my decisions or judgment. I'm afraid I'm going to get myself into another mess and go through my whole process of blaming myself, feeling like shit, being obsessive etc. The whole scipt approval will work itself out but i dont trust the ins co even though my doc has called every day. I wish i could learn how...

[BonnieSue]

Your doc is calling every day about a script approval for ...what? And it will work itself out but the doc is calling every day anyway? For...what? And you're afraid you'll somehow get yourself in some kind of mess how? And you want to learn something but I don't know what that is? Can you clear this up please?

[Jilld1314 in reply to BonnieSue]

At the end of january i went to refill a script and it was flagged for pre authorization, new year, new ins, new rules and high tier drug. Taking a while to get approved. I take it for something called interstitial cystitis. I'm driving myself nuts, sitting at home and waiting for the drugs to get approved. Already had to put out the retail amt of $750 because i didnt have any pills left. I could have refilled the drug back on jan 16, with leftovers from before but waited till I refilled my others. If i had done that then i could have bought myself some time...not waiting day by day like i have. Its been two weeks and i am beating myself up every day. That's where the not trusting my decisions, judgement etc come from. I trust my doc, calls me every day with an update because he knows me well. I dont trust the process including the ins co's. In the beginning tried to get answers but made me even more upset and frustrated. Once this is settled i am making a promise to myself to never let this get out of hand and take better care. Every day is a waiting game. Exhausted emotionally and physically.

[BonnieSue in reply to Jilld1314]

If I have this right, it's a live and learn situation. You didn't have all of the facts up front, so why beat yourself up about it? I've gotten caught a few times myself over these things when I didn't have all of the facts and occasionally when I didn't connect all the dots. It isn't easy to do sometimes. We live in complicated times. I've also had to shell out some big bucks like you've done, too. Sometimes we can't avoid it and we're fortunate that we even have it to shell out.

I wouldn't trust the insurance co.'s song and dance either. They may be honest but how can you be certain? You never really will be. Bottom line: we do the best we can with what we've got and let it rest there. I'm sorry that you've been emotionally and physically drained by this. I wish I could send you away to some tropical retreat for rest, relaxation and recovery! Wouldn't that be just grand? Maybe you can take a little trip with your imagination.

[Jilld1314]

I don't think its a live and learn thing. Millions of people deal with the ins companies but why does it ruin my day, week, etc? I'm hard on myself for everything and dont know why something that most people would be like ok, i harbor on and am miserable until its better. Something positive came up the other day with the ins co and i am happy for a moment but then back to negative negative negative. And forget relaxing...what's that?