Hello, I'm new to this. I decided this is the best way to deal with this.
I didn't have problems with anxiety until an event this year (1 month ago). I'm in my senior year of high school and a female. This male teacher started to give me unwanted attention and made physical contact even after I said I was uncomfortable. I brought this up to my school counselor. The only thing they did was prohibit that teacher from talking to me. Unfortunately the problem has now gotten bigger since I'm uncomfortable in ALL of my male teachers classes. My counselor now refuses to talk to me since my mother brought this issue to administration.
My mother doesn't understand anxiety because it's not a prevalent issue in her native country. She's tries to be understanding but it usually ends up with her becoming frustrated and telling me to get over it.
I have seen some improvement lately but now I don't know what to do since my counselor won't talk to me. They've turned and have since blamed this on me and other "issues."
I was perfectly fine before this experience with this teacher. Now if I see him I have anxiety attacks. I'd love to hear any advice ANYONE has. I'd appreciate all of your input.
Thank you.
Written by
RedRibbon
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Your counselor is wrong to avoid you. I'm sorry that this situation has been turned around and blamed on you. I wish I could change that but I can't. I have no great advice except for you to act as if you aren't to blame and to carry on in confidence in yourself and your blamelessness. Do not take on any blame for this, no matter how your counselor or others try to make it look like you are the problem.
The fact that you have anxiety attacks isn't normal. Normal would be getting nervous or feeling very uncomfortable but no anxiety attacks. You need to see your GP and get a drug for these. Even better would be a referral to an adolescent psychiatrist and an adolescent counselor. Both are needed for you to make the needed changes and to learn how to overcome the attacks. Please don't wait and start now to un-program your nervous system from having these attacks. Take care.
None of this is your fault. You stuck up for yourself and said no and sought out help from the supports you have. I'm sorry you're feeling misunderstood by your mother. Families can have a huge impact on our mental health and self-worth and not even know it. I hope things work out.
It sounds to me like you might be experiencing some post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) related to this incident with your teacher. I can imagine how difficult it would be to trust your other male teachers after such an incident. I myself know what it's like to fear that particular population. I'm sorry your are experiencing the same.
Here's for those telling you to just get over it (p.s. I LOVE inspirational quotes, so please bare with me)
As for other advice, I think browsing this website is a good first step. Another might be to seek counseling assistance from someone outside of your school system. Perhaps do a google search for mental health counselors or providers in your area and make some phone calls. It might be worth a try...but only if you're up to it. Don't let society's stigmas about mental health hold you back from finding your peace and happiness again.
First off RedRibbon, you did the right thing and just know that you're not alone in this dear. I'm really sorry about your mom and how she brushes you off when you come to her. Definitely coming on here talking to like minded people was the wiser choice. "There is safety in several counselors" Proverbs 11:14* - If I were you I would go about it in a smart way by getting a lawyer and getting legal advice from a trained professional because what the people at your school will try to do next is likely try to discredit you even worse than they already have been doing. And it doesn't look like mom is gonna be any help to you. So get people maybe even at your school on your side. And if push comes to shove, go public with it. If you feel as though nobody is on your side than buy a small spy camera and gather evidence, study law and what is considered sexual harassment and have something done to him in court. but make certain that you go about it the right way...otherwise you'll crash and burn because the people at your school have connections that you don't have yet...so make connections. And begin to talk and network with people who've had similar experiences. Hope that helped, God bless! Be strong you're not alone....name's Becky btw.
P.S. If you do in fact decide to take my advise and do your own investigation, then make sure you go about it in a smart way. Which is to say that you investigate covertly, so nobody has anything on you and therefore, can't make you seem as though you're putting out a false accusation.
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