My Story. Chapter by Chapter. - Talk ED (eating d...

Talk ED (eating disorders)

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My Story. Chapter by Chapter.

blue24 profile image
5 Replies

I am 18 years old. And a year and a half ago, I suffered from Bulimia along with a mild case of anorexia. To deal with this and to prevent relapse, I started to write down my story.

So here it goes, I'm going to post this chapter by chapter. & please comment so I know someone is listening...

The truth hurts. More than the lies do. But what happens if the truth that you hear isn't the truth? What happens if the people that tell you this truth, aren't there? Some may consider it as madness, I consider it life. Life is a thing not to be dabbled with, it needs to be treated with care and respect. As it turns out, my life has neither of those things. Because I don't live in the way that other people do. I don't see or hear the things other people do. I live in a bubble. Its a strange concept to understand, but to me its real. As real as the earth or the sky. And this bubble is my world. But its not a nice world. There is no sun. Only darkness and clouds. I sit and I wander around this world for ages, waiting hesitantly for someone to come and get me out. Someone to save me.

I'm going to tell you now that this isn't a pretty story. The world that I call The Bubble and the actual reality of things, aren't the nicest of fairytales. I call it a fairytale because thats what I have always believed life to be. It was never fun, living in the dull, dreary existence of London, and my escape from that was this world that I created. But when this world got out of hand, and part of me did really did believe that it was real, out came a new problem entirely out of my control.

Its hard to pinpoint an exact start. Many councillors and phycologists, could work for hours pondering over, the roots of this kind of problem, and never get to an exact start. But the start really for me, was a comment. A simple comment. Perhaps thinking about it now, a completely and utterly, random and meaningless comment.“Has Chelsea put on weight?”Is this comment the root of problem? Probably not. But if I was to try pinpoint, when exactly my weight became an issue, that would be it. And that goes to show, how many people without even realising it, can change a persons entire life.

'This is only the first two paragraphs, but I just want to make sure people are reading.'

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blue24 profile image
blue24
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Livelife profile image
Livelife

I'm listening. Maybe by hearing your story I can understand my own life. I know this escapism bubble, I still live it and I know it is not pleasant for those around me.

Please continue.

Meryan profile image
Meryan

Hi blue24.

Thank you for sharing this. Hope we all could break our Bubbles one day.

I quite understand your feelings because Im living the same here in London.

Dont stop writting.

Take care

Meryan

I can identify with the wayward comment. I remember in my childhood someone making a similar comment about my legs and it has haunted me ever since.

It is good to hear your story. I pray that you'll feel able to share more.

loppyloo61 profile image
loppyloo61

I too can identify comment or comments can shape that persons life!! That person being me, I suffer from severe complex anorexia. In Therapy now not out of choice but of necessesity for me to live!!

I was told always as a child that I was "the big fat ugly cow!" & my sister was so pretty, blonde and petite. They seems to think this is indeed was the "seed" planted from a very young age which triggered my Anorexia, which I have carried around like a lead-baloon for years!

It nearly cost me my life last year. Only been in Therapy in specialised High-Risk Eating Disorder Clinic, for couple of months. It has made a huge positive impact on my life already!

If you do get the opportunity to get into a Eating Disorder clinic grasp it for your life and work with them thye truly CAN HELP YOU!!

I am listening, keep posting. In my thoughts and Prayers. God Bless you x

We sufferers DO CARE!! love Bettybaby x

blue24 profile image
blue24

Thank you so much for the support it means so much to me :) it's great to know that there are people out there listening to you who actually care, I've nearly finished the next part so I will post that in a few days

Thank you again,

Blue x