First post regards eating disorder.

[ky75]

Hi to everybody they may read this im not really into online pouring of my emotions but it does feel a kind of release.Ive had bulima since i was 14 and at 37 i think it will always be i also have anorexic tendencies and feel the need to excercise everyday.There are a select few whom i have told and my daughter of 15 i think has always guessed but its the elephant in the room.Is it odd that for the most part i think its not such a big deal but then i also feel embarrased and ashamed?.Have i set a seed in my childs head i pray she dosent do the same or that the pains that wake me in the night is not my heart packing up,this is usually the moment i promise myself i will never binge purge again!.Im not sure what i will gain from this or where it will end but i know im not alone.

[Hidden]

You are not alone. The ways eating disorders affect us will vary between us but we have all a lot in common too.

I can identify with the feelings of shame that you describe. Despite those, for me, I felt it was important to tell by sons. The younger one was about 15/16 at the time. As you say they had already guessed. It meant I wasn't living such a "lie" in my terms. It also meant that I could talk freely about my eating disorder and allow them to ask questions and say what their feelings were both towards my ED and food in general.

I wonder if it would be wise to seek reassurance from your GP if you are getting chest pains in the night. Do you have a GP who would listen to your concerns?

All the best

Anniephys XX