how do I start recovery and how do I calm my parents down?

I started to become anorexic a year ago this week... well at least thats when it got to a clinical-definition-stage. I have tried going to psychiatrists at a food clinic but I did not feel they could help me - the problem is that I no longer wish to lose anymore weight - I'm not particularly happy with my body image but I don't want to lose I just don't want to gain a load of weight and my stomach can't handle a lot of food so I feel constantly bloated now. My parents scream and shout at me to eat more of the foods I fear (which I don't) and my dad threatens to leave home - I don't know how to handle this? Please help?

3 Replies

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  • It sounds like you all need some professional help. Have you got a sypathetic GP who you can talk to? In my experience you need to see an eating disorders specialist usually at a specialist clinic. Most now have a very holistic approach and work with you - and with your family if that's what you want - to help you understand your difficulties and begin to see a way out. Sorry not to be able to give you a magic answer. Secondly - you need perhaps to sit down with your parents and really talk to them about your feelings - but I recognise that may be difficult in your situation. Lastly - and this may not be of any help - but it may provide a short-term way of approaching food - eat little and more often so that you don't get the bloated feeling - but make sure you really are getting a good nutritional balance - I know how easy it is to deceive yourself - the eating disorder can play real tricks making you feel full - you eat loads of vege but little else - you avoid fatty foods because you "don't like them"!! etc

    Hope this helps a bit - be assure you are not struggling alone.

  • Hey there

    I guess what I ask is do your parents know how you feel - ie what you have written here.

    On Saturday, the first thing my husband said to me was 'what have you eaten?' I went barmy - no 'how are you' and I felt about 2 years old. On Monday, I didnt eat with my kids, and told I didnt dare and would eat with him, as I didnt think he would believe me.

    He went barmy!

    But, I agree with the above comments. Show your parents this page if its easier, but try and explain your fears. They are worried - beyound belief - but, as do many others dont realise that food is not the issue here - its what you o with these behaviours.

    Keep in there, and keep battling. Because, deep down, you know that you need to in order to set off down that recovery path.

    Ive learnt that. Ive just found out I have a long term condition - ineveitable anyway, for different reasons, but exarcerbated by my ED behaviours. The weird thing is, it has taken that - and that I now face MAJOR lifestyle changes and really really question how I have lived this life for so long. I am not saying I am suddenly recovered - far from, but I am now committed to taking ownership of my behaviours so I can move on.

    You are so worth it; please, please keep battling away, talk to whom will listen - and love yourself. I promise, it will be worth it.

  • Maybe you could have a look around for a counsellor who works relationally in your area.

    Within this kind of therapy the focus would be on your emotional condition and not primarily the eating issues. In my experience of working with those who have food related issues I have on many occasions discovered that what they sometimes need is for someone to understand how it feels to be them and not someone who is going to keep the focus on food and eating.

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