I have a history of anorexia and I have been what I call recovered for several years. I can eat regularly (not a lot but regularly), go out for meals (even though I do tend to compensate the week or day before if it's an unsafe meal) and I eat socially. I work full time and no one really seems that worried about my weight. But my BMI is still below 17.5 and I know in the past when I've been really well my BMI has been around 19-20. I've had CBT twice and recently it was to try to gain this last bit of weight. But I haven't been able to do it. My boyfriend and my family all would like me to gain a bit more weight but because I eat enough to seem normal they don't really worry. I went to my GP to ask for more help. Because of how many years I've had this sort of semi recovery I think my safety behaviours and thought patterns are quite entrenched and that's why I couldn't change it with 15 sessions of CBT (that was the max allowed). My GP says my BMI has to be below 15 for a referral to the eating disorders service but I'm not prepared to lose more weight just to I can access a service - which shows I really am in control of it to some degree, I've been this same BMI for four years. I feel like I am doomed to remain in this semi recovered state forever. I really really want to be properly better but I just can't seem to do it. Can anyone offer any advice and I am sorry for the looong post!
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