Is there anyone struggling with self ... - Talk ED (eating d...

Talk ED (eating disorders)

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Is there anyone struggling with self harm also? If so, anything that works for you?

Jazzie10 profile image
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Jazzie10 profile image
Jazzie10
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fadedlizard profile image
fadedlizard

I have no answer to the question except to reassure you aren't alone in this. I find mine comes on waves. If I am struggling to keep food down I'm unlikely to be harming but if the vomitting is under control I am much more likely to be cutting. I guess both actions are a coping mechanism, a way of turning off the noise in my head, emptying out all the unmanagable thoughts and feelings, if you like.

Since it does come in waves if you are able to distract yourself the impulse does lessen. I have also found it useful to identify my trigger times and situations. For me it is late at night when I'm shattered but my mind is still in overdrive and I just need to make it stop. Once I was able to identify this I was able to make an arrangement with a close friend that I am supposed to call her to talk it all through before trying to sleep. However this is only partially sucessful. Even when I'm not harming the thoughts are with me constantly and I have no idea how to combat that. I have had treatment for the bulimia in the past but I was too afraid to raise the issue of self harm.

Jazzie10 profile image
Jazzie10

Thanks for reply. Nights are my worst time also, and more so when alcohol involved. My self harm on my file, so to speak, cos I ended up requiring surgery a few weeks back & have also required nurse assistance a few times. It's just so crap. I'm a grown woman, I should be able to deal with life without resorting to this. :(

fadedlizard profile image
fadedlizard

Oh I can so identify with that last sentence. There is so much guilt and self recrimination attached to self harm which definately helps to perpetuate the cycle. I am glad you have been brave enough to seek help and treatment. I have been symptom-free for 4 months now but only because I frightened myself so much with my last injury. Definately a wake up call - keep up like this and I may not survive the experience. But scare not with standing I find the compulsion is still there and daily I have to fight the urge. I wish I had better coping strategies but so far nothing seems to work for any length of time.

We have to keep looking though. We will survive. x

Jazzie10 profile image
Jazzie10

I can completely identify with all that you have said there. Mines has been a major wake up call also. I went from 'oh dear' to 'WTF - I've really done it this time' in less than 5 seconds!! I'd like to think i won't do it asain, but like you, the compulsion is still there most days.

Well done for 4 months tho. That's ace. I made it to around 2 months before last occasion and now back up to 3 weeks mark, but the thots are still very much there. I only managed to avoid a Psych referral by skin of my teeth (only cos I was already seeing them for ED reasons).

Keep fighting, we'll hopefully get there one day.

x

spiritgirl profile image
spiritgirl

Hi Hun, I also suffer from self harming alongside me anorexia. I dont have any tips on how to stop im afraid. I have good days and bad days.

mollys_lips profile image
mollys_lips

Well, if I was you, I'd identify what is causing you to self harm. Once you know why you are doing it, then you can work to resolve the issue. Another technique I found that helped with the cutting was to use an elastic band and twang it on your wrist. I hope this helps:)

fifel profile image
fifel

I totally relate to all the above. Also, when I am angry, sometimes I manage to throw ice into the bath tub or on to the ground outside rather than harm myself - it a very satisfying to hear the BANG and smash and to see the ice shatter. Best thing is, you don't have to clear it up after because it just melts away! Not a miracle cure I know, and I don't always manage to do it, but when I do, it is a helpful relief/release in the moment!

Livelife profile image
Livelife

Reading the above is reassuring, in a way, as there are so many more people out there like me. I only wish twanging an elastic band was the answer, but each time I harm I need more pain to achieve the same outcome - to ground me, bring me back to reality. I can see no end to it. The guilt and shame that goes with it just keeps the cycle going. I so wish I could stop. If I ease back on harming, I eat less and less. Which is worse? I feel I am going round in circles. Any advice welcome.

fadedlizard profile image
fadedlizard in reply to Livelife

I don't have any real advice because I live in the same circle. Until you've been there no-one can understand either the overwhelmimg NEED to cut or the relief it brings. I am trying so hard not to harm again after nearly doing myself a serious injury but it is a daily battle. The thought is with me constantly, especially now as my scars have begun to fade which is a major trgger for me. (No idea why.) Nothing else I try has the same effect or effects the same lasting release. You could try art work; writing it all down and then covering the paper (card is better) with paint, cutting into it, etc. Sometimes you end up with something you want to keep usually it's for the bin but if the urge has passed it has served it's purpose. Good luck. You're not on your own.x

Citylife profile image
Citylife

Ive suffered from self-harm for years and used to cut myself when things got really bad. I don't do it anymore a good tip I was told which worked for me is if your going to self harm at night tell yourself you will do it in the morning if you still feel the same. The time lapse really helped me it was difficult to block out the emotion but 95% of the time I did't want to do it the next day and it passed.